Unbreakable
by Dreams of Leilani
Summary: Formerly named 'Look After You.' With troublesome interns, new doctors, and explosive confrontations, the original 5 discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret that threatens to destroy them.
1. On Your Own

Sypnopsis:

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

**

* * *

****Last season on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Miranda Bailey: **I wish I could turn back the clock and make it yesterday…we can't go back.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang:** I am a surgeon, Dr. Bailey. But right now, I don't feel like one. I feel…like…somebody else. Do you know what that's like, not to feel like yourself?

-**Dr. Addison Montgomery:** We don't get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know…nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could've changed your life.

-**Dr. George O'Malley:** I'm not gonna tell Callie. Do you know how much this would hurt her? I'm not gonna clear my conscience at her expense. She has done nothing but support me, encourage me and believe in me and this is how I pay her back? No, I have to live with what I did. This is our secret, okay?

-**Dr. Izzie Stevens:** Messing up…it's what makes a person. And so we learn, where you find joy. And the things you don't plan for…are things you never see coming.

-**Dr. George O'Malley:** Repeat my internship? _No_. I can't…I _can't_.

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd: **You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So I'm asking you...if you don't see a future for us, if you aren't in this...please...please just end it, because I can't. I'm in it. Put me out of my misery.

-**Dr. Preston Burke:** …If I loved you...if I loved _you_, not the woman that I'm trying to make you be, not the woman that I hope you'll become, but you..._if I did_...I wouldn't be up there waiting for you. I would be letting you go.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang: **He's gone. I'm…I'm _free_. Damn it. Damn it. _DAMN IT_!

* * *

_Denial is a blessing…or a curse. Every now and then, the only thing that makes us feel in charge of our lives is not talking about what got us there. We put up an invisible shield to prevent us from living in a world of hurt. We don't think about how we ended up stuck in between heaven and hell. Instead, we soldier on…disregarding our feelings and regrets to do something that makes us feel in control. But eventually, we start to get comfortable with what we have…and that's when solitude comes back and bites us in the ass, reminding us of the need to learn from our mistakes. After all, putting off the inevitable is what makes it hurt the most._

Callie stood in the kitchen, studying Cristina in concern. The normally feisty and sarcastic surgeon was sitting at the table with her head bowed down, unusually quiet. She absentmindedly fiddled with her glass of margarita, sighing every so often. Everyone jumped when Cristina spoke up, her voice sounding strangely loud in the quiet room.

"I _hate_ Burke! You know, how strange is that? How can I love and hate someone so much? I spent the better part of a year caring for a man that turned out to be as unpredictable as the weather outside. And yet, I'm still in _love_ with him. I'm sitting in this kitchen, surrounded by my supportive best friends, but all I can think of is, 'What the _hell _did I do wrong?!' I mean, did I really not love him enough? Was I too absorbed in surgeries and being a terrible girlfriend?"

Meredith spoke up, anger flashing in her eyes. "Cristina, LOOK AT ME!! You loved Burke the way you knew how to! Don't think for _one_ moment that you didn't do enough to make this relationship work. But sometimes, we just aren't ready…we just can't have that fairytale ending yet. Think about it…even if you and Burke had gotten married, would it even have worked out? You guys wanted different things, and maybe…just maybe…him leaving you at that altar today really was the best thing he could do for you."

Ignoring the shocked glances from Izzie and Callie, she continued in a gentler tone. "Cristina, _admit it_. You actually had to come to the hospital today, on your wedding day, just to cut something and make you feel like yourself again! You were losing your personality, and I'm sorry for saying this, but I'm glad he left you. I'm thankful that he gave you the chance to be free, to reclaim the passion that you lost during the course of this relationship. I mean, _seriously_!"

Cristina stared at her best friend in quiet contemplation. "Mere…I _never_ realized how much I loved Burke until you found me today. The denial that I was in before I got back to the apartment…it just hit. I mean, I'm never going to see the man I loved ever again…" She trailed off, tears trickling slowly down her face.

Izzie, who had been quietly whipping up margaritas, suddenly started venting, her voice choked with tears. "You know, you're right! It was wrong of Dr. Burke to leave you at the altar. You guys deserved your fairytale ending. When I was helping him in surgery today, he was practicing his vows. He said he was going to lay his heart in the palm of your hand! People shouldn't make false promises like that!"

Seeing that Cristina was opening her mouth to protest, she continued on her outburst. "Love isn't something you offer and then yank away without a second thought. Once you say you love someone, it's a commitment that you shouldn't take back! Marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly. It's _forever_…and nothing can or should change that!"

Callie stopped making cookie dough and stared suspiciously at the blonde. Her intuition was telling her that Izzie was talking about more than Cristina's failed marriage. She was acting much too emotional for someone who wasn't even that close to the Asian surgeon. She glanced at the other two women in the room; Cristina was sitting at the table in stunned silence, while Meredith looked _very_ uncomfortable.

Meredith cleared her throat. Casting a furtive glance in Izzie's direction, she looked back down at her drink. "Izz, you're talking about you and Denny. Right?"

The blonde was back to mixing drinks, her face suddenly burning scarlet. "Yeah…"

Nobody dared to break the silence after that.

* * *

Callie sat in the dark hotel room, not even bothering to flip on the lights. After all, the shadows seemed to fit well with her tumultuous feelings right now. Ever since Izzie's outburst, she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was indeed going on between George and Izzie. She recalled the plea she had made to Izzie less than a week ago. 

_Izzie was walking into the elevator. With a sudden burst of courage, Callie had followed her in. Fighting back the sudden onslaught of tears and ignoring Stevens' shocked look, she had begun her speech._

"_Don't talk. I know it's not fair, and I know it's not your fault, and I know there's nothing going on between you and George. I know that…except there is. You're his best friend. He loves you. He gets you; he needs you. And I'm just...I'm his wife. And I know...I get the sex and the commitment and the life with him. But I want him to get **me**, and to need **me,** and I can't compete with you. So I am asking you to please stop...just **stop**. Find another friend or whatever you have to do. Just give me my husband back."_

_After that, she had gotten off the elevator, giving in to the tears that seemed to fall on their own accord._

Suddenly feeling an inexplicable cold steal over her body, Callie wrapped her hotel robe more tightly around her. She sighed. George hadn't come to the wedding, so where was he? She needed to talk to her husband…she was desperate for any sign that she was just being paranoid.

Hearing a knock at the door, she ran to answer it without bothering to look in the peephole. Throwing it open, she was greeted with the sight of a miserable-looking George. Closing the door quickly, she walked up to him with a determination she did not feel. "George, I _need_ to talk to you. It's about-"

George interrupted her quietly. "Callie, I'm _so_ sorry. We, uh…we can't transfer to Mercy West. I mean, _you _can, since you're a wonderful surgeon and any hospital would benefit from your skills. But, I can't…I think I'm gonna have to stay at Seattle Grace."

Callie glanced at George. Although her mind was whirling with questions that she wanted to ask him, the more rational part of her knew there was a reason why he suddenly didn't want to switch hospitals. After all, his tentative acceptance to Mercy West had been the only thing that had made George cheer up these past few weeks.

"George, why are you deciding to stay at Seattle Grace? They said they were going to accept you, pending the results of your intern exam. I know you guys got the results back today…" Understanding suddenly dawned on her. "Oh…you didn't pass the intern exam." At George's continued silence, Callie turned away from him for a second. She couldn't ask him about Izzie right now, not when his entire career seemed to have come to a standstill. Feeling tears prick her eyes, Callie hurriedly blinked them away. After all, they couldn't both fall apart right now.

Sighing softly, she cradled his face and forced him to look at her. "George, I'm so

sorry that you didn't pass your intern exam. But you know what? If you stay at Seattle Grace, then I'll stay with you." Noticing his look of shock, she added, "Honey…I got the chief residency today. I can't just hand in my letter of resignation now, could I? And besides, we're husband and wife. I'm not going to work at a different hospital unless you're there with me." Hugging him gently, she led him to the bed. "It'll be okay….everything will be okay."

Before long, Callie was fast asleep; she didn't hear George whisper, "I'm so sorry…so sorry. Forgive me. After all you've done for me, this is how I repay you. You shouldn't be so good to me…I'm so sorry."

* * *

Izzie jumped when she heard the front door slam. After the drama of today, she had forgotten that Alex also lived at Meredith's house now. Picking up her mug of tea, she continued to stare at the candles that she had lit all over the kitchen. The caffeine and mingling scents were proving to be the relaxing remedy she needed to go to sleep tonight…and forget about the misery that this day had bought. 

"Hey, Iz." Looking up, Izzie returned the smile that Alex gave her. She studied her fellow surgeon; the normally cocky attitude was missing in his poise. Alex sat with his shoulders slumped, and his frown lines were noticeable.

"Alex, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Seeing her smoldering glare, he sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm not okay. I missed my chance to be with the woman I love. First it was you, then it was Addison…and now it's Ava. I always seem to screw things up. Addison was right. You don't get unlimited chances to have the things you want. And now I know that _nothing_ is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed my life. What the hell is the matter with me? I mean, she was in that hospital room today, begging me to give her a reason to stay in Seattle. And I just couldn't let myself give her that reason."

Izzie stared at Alex as she chose her words carefully. "What is it that makes you close up like a clam when it comes to commitment, Alex? After all, we were a couple once upon a time. You're not the ass you portray yourself as. You're sweet and kind, and you do have a good bedside manner. I think that much was clear when we saw you connect with Ava. You showed more compassion than I ever thought you were capable of. You would make a great husband, Alex. I just don't get why you don't let yourself open up."

Alex hesitated, but then he changed the subject. "Forget about me…let's talk about Yang. Was the wedding good? Come to think of it, why are you guys back so early. It's only 11:00…I thought I'd be the only one at home to wallow in self-pity."

She sighed. "They didn't get married…Dr. Burke left her at the altar." At Alex's shocked expression, she elaborated. "He said that he was forcing her into marriage, and that their relationship was changing her into a different person. It was so sad…I don't think I've ever seen Cristina so devastated. We females got together to whip up margaritas and cookies tonight, so whatever…."

Alex smiled slightly. "You guys did the best thing you could do for her…get wasted and help her forget about today." Leaning toward Izzie, he gently kissed her cheek and flashed her a genuine smile. She stared after Alex as he left the kitchen to go upstairs.

* * *

Meredith woke with a start when she heard the sound of sniffling. Turning around, she caught sight of Cristina's shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Laying a hand gently on her best friend's shoulder, she watched sadly as Cristina cleared her throat loudly. "Cristina, are you okay? Do you want to talk about what happened today?" 

Cristina sighed, her voice choked with tears. "What's there to talk about? He left me…and now I'm dealing with it in the way that I know how to. I mean, so what? He left me, but I should be happy about the fact that I'm now a resident. You know what? I don't need him. If he's too arrogant to realize that I'm one of the best things that happed to him, then fine! I risked my _career_ to save his ass when he was in trouble, so I'm not about to ruin the start of my residency by missing him. I'm not…I'M NOT!"

"Okay," Meredith whispered soothingly. She gave her best friend a supportive squeeze on the shoulder.

"Mere? I know this is random, but I've been thinking. You know how we have a 17 day break before we start residency? How about you go with me on the honeymoon that Burke and I planned? Keep me company…let's have fun in the Hawaiian sand and sun and forget about everything that's making us unhappy."

Meredith laughed. "That sounds good…scuba diving, luaus and dancing in grass skirts!" Hearing Cristina laugh, she added softly, "I'm always on your side, Cristina. No matter what. You'll get past this. I know it."

Hearing Cristina's affirmative mumble, she smiled and finally allowed herself to sink into the comfortable bliss of sleep.

* * *

_You live with a halo 'round your head,_

_This time you're leaving._

_This place where the walls are painted red,_

_Freedom is what you need…_

_But if the world should ever fall apart around you,_

_And if you're lost and barely breathing,_

_I will find you,_

_And carry you back home.  
_

_I won't forsake the only love I ever known,_

_When you're out there on your own._

_Dark clouds they surround you in the sky,_

_Rain falls when you're sleeping._

_When you're past the point of no return,_

_I will take away the hurt.  
_

_And if the world should ever fall apart around you,_

_And if you're lost and barely breathing,_

_I will find you,_

_And carry you back home._

_I won't forsake the only love I ever known,_

_When you're out there..._

_And I will wait,_

_However long it takes,_

'_Til you realize what you have been searching for,_

_Was right here all along…_

_When you lost the only light you had to guide you,_

_And you're cold and barely breathing,_

_I will find you,_

_And carry you back home…_

_I won't forsake the only love I ever known,_

_When you're out there on your own._

_And if the world should ever fall apart around you,_

_And if you're lost and barely breathing,_

_I will find you,_

_And carry you back home…_

_I won't forsake the only love I ever known,_

_When you're out there on your..._

_When you're out there on your own…_

-Nick Lachey, On Your Own


	2. Keep Breathing

**Sypnopsis:**

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

**A.N.**: Thank you all for the positive reviews. I'm very sorry for the lag time in updates...I got a mild case of the hated writer's block for this chapter, but I'm back and kicking with **TWO** new chapters for you guys! Anyways, enjoy this chapter first. I honestly tried to make the medical procedures as accurate as possible, but I don't have a M.D., so please excuse any mistakes! Pairings are tentatively as follows: Mer/Der, Gizzie, Cristina/Theo (_the new cardiothoracic head_),Alex/Ava, Mark/Mia (_the new obstetrics/gynecology head_), Richard/Adele, Callie/Joe (_an obstetrics/gynecology attending_), and Lexie is alone as of right now…any ideas for her potential boyfriends? Check out the trailer for this story on YouTube; just type in '**Grey's Anatomy Season 4 Preview (MY Version)**.' Happy reading!

**

* * *

**

**Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Cristina Yang:** Was I too absorbed in surgeries and being a terrible girlfriend?

-**Dr. Meredith Grey:** I'm thankful that he gave you the chance to be free, to reclaim the passion that you lost during the course of this relationship.

-**Dr. Izzie Stevens: **Marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly. It's FOREVER…and nothing can or should change that!

-**Dr. Callie O'Malley**: If you stay at Seattle Grace, then I'll stay with you…we're husband and wife. I'm not going to work at a different hospital unless you're there with me.

-**Dr. George O'Malley**: Forgive me. After all you've done for me, this is how I repay you.

-**Dr. Alex Karev**: I missed my chance to be with the woman I love. First it was you, then it was Addison…and now it's Ava…she was in that hospital room today, begging me to give her a reason to stay in Seattle. And I just couldn't let myself give her that reason.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang**: I risked my _career_ to save his ass when he was in trouble, so I'm not about to ruin the start of my residency by missing him. I'm not…I'M NOT!

-**Dr. Meredith Grey**: I'm always on your side, Cristina. No matter what. You'll get past this. I know it.

_

* * *

It's been said that keeping track of old scores and scars, getting even, and one-upping always makes you less than you are._ _But that's easier said then done. We __**can**__ tell ourselves to forgive and forget all we want. But when push comes to shove, we find that we can't do anything about the pain and rage that swells up like an overflowing river. Humans are forever searching for a divine intervention…to find a reason to live, forgive and forget. However, that revelation only comes at a time when we least expect it. And when that moment appears, we begin to truly understand what it takes to move on…and with it, we start to heal our wounds._

**17 days later…**

Izzie opened her eyes, and a smile immediately sprang to her lips. Today was her first day as a resident…which meant torturing her first batch of timid interns. Her pride at surviving the hellish surgical internship had been the only thing that had kept her from going insane these past two and a half weeks.

She had spent this temporary respite alone; after her gentle nudging, Alex had left on a solo road trip to drive towards Ava's direction but ended up coming back to Seattle without her. Meanwhile, Cristina and Meredith had flown off to Maui to utilize an unused honeymoon suite and bask in the tantalizing rays of the Hawaiian sun. And George…her best friend had literally disappeared off the face of this Earth, effectively dashing her hopes of any romantic reconciliation with him. These days, it seemed like they were drifting farther and farther apart, and it was tearing her apart.

Hearing Meredith turn off the shower, she sighed as her good mood disappeared. Forcing herself out of bed, she stumbled into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Feeling slightly more refreshed after standing under the jets of hot water, the surgeon walked down to the kitchen. By the time Meredith and Alex walked in, Izzie was already flipping tasty, steaming chocolate chip pancakes onto a serving platter.

"YUM!" Alex exclaimed as he scraped his chair backwards, causing a loud and ear piercing screech. Wincing, Izzie smiled at him. "Eat up…we get to become the new Nazis, and we don't want to collapse out of hunger on our first day as residents." Laughing, they quickly filled up on the delectable breakfast. Within the hour, Meredith, Alex and Izzie were on their way to the hopsital, thinking that nothing could ruin this perfect day. Little did the surgeons know that the start of their residency would turn into hell on Earth. Nobody could predict that their lives were about to be turned upside down.

* * *

Callie pulled on her lab coat, staring proudly at the words emblazoned on it:

Calliope Torres, M.D., Chief Resident

Grinning widely, she walked out of the locker room, ready to face her first day as a boss. The smile faded as she thought about George. By the time she had gotten up, he had already left for work. Callie knew how hard this day had to be for him, since George was being forced to repeat his internship while he watched his friends became second-year residents. After all that he had done to help Meredith pass her test, it was a cruel twist of irony that George had failed his.

Her beeper suddenly chimed, cutting into the silence and shaking her out of her wandering thoughts. Squaring her shoulders, Callie walked out of the locker room, ready for her first day as Chief Resident.

Bailey stood in the ER, watching Cristina, Meredith, Izzie and Alex teaching their new interns. She couldn't stop a grin from escaping when she overhead Yang lecturing her interns, "1, 2, 3 and 4, you guys are going to stand _out_ of my way while I do my job, unless I ask for you. Understand? Because any mistakes you make is on me, which means I'm responsible for your crap! Move, move, move!"

When Callie walked in, she felt an uncontrollable sense of hatred toward the younger woman. To Bailey, the wound over losing Chief Residency to her fellow resident hadn't healed at all during the past few weeks. In fact, just seeing Callie's face made the blood boil in her veins. However, Bailey prided herself on her consummate professionalism, and she'd be damned if she gave up that reputation. Forcing herself to focus on her job, she adressed the new Chief Resident.

"Dr. Torres! 15 GSWs, ETA 3 minutes!"

Callie nodded and led the team of surgeons to the ambulance bay, everyone ready to save lives.

* * *

Screams spilled out of the ambulance the second the doors were open. The paramedic stuck his head out and addressed Izzie and her interns, "23-year-old Alyssa Henderson, 30 weeks pregnant, contractions 10 minutes apart, shot in the stomach during a drive-by shooting! BP 80/60, pulse thready at 32, 100 O2 by mask."

Izzie stood in shock for a crucial second, unable to look away from the patient and feeling overwhelmed. Snapping out of her daze, she began to wheel the gurney into the hospital. Snapping her head back, she yelled at one of her interns, "Taylor, go and page OB/GYN _now_! They need to come take a look at her!" Without missing a beat, she directed the paramedics, "Take her to Trauma One!" When they burst through the doors of the trauma room, she prepared to move the patient onto the bed, "On my count…1, 2, 3!" Whipping around, she pointed a finger at her other interns, "Leighanne, order a CBC, Chem 7, blood culture, and chest films! Tony, get the ultrasound in here, I need to assess the fetus' condition. Where the _hell_ is OB?! Clark, go page them again! Jerry, get ready to move her to CT! Go, go, go!" A second later, the doors burst open again, and in walked a gorgeous and refined Chinese doctor. Slipping into a trauma gown, she addressed Izzie calmly, "I'm Dr. Mia Ko…what's the situation?"

Izzie took a deep breath, "32-year-old female, 30 weeks pregnant, shot in the stomach. We preparing to take her to CT, but we still need to do an ultrasound. The baby's condition is still unknown at this time."

Mia nodded and took the ultrasound. Waving the wand over the patient's swollen belly, she gently probed the abdominal wall. Fear suddenly crossed her distinguished features, and she put the machine back onto the cart and moved it out of the way. "Get her stabilized and intubated, we need to redline her to the OR. She's bleeding into her belly, and the baby's in respiratory distress. Somebody page Dr. Bailey; we need a general surgeon to do a laparatomy. Move it, Dr. Stevens!"

Izzie's hands shook badly as someone handed her the laryngoscope. Positioning the chords, she tried desperately to intubate the patient. She shook her head in barely controlled panic, "Dr. Ko, it's not working! Her airway's full of blood; I can't see the chords. Jerry, bag her! We're losing precious time." Speeding out of the room, they rushed the patient to surgery.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cristina had her own hands full with her patient. "Page Dr. Burke..HURRY! This guy's losing blood faster than we're giving it to him!" she barked to Olivia.

The nurse shook her head, "Dr. Burke left on extended leave 17 days ago, but he's still in Seattle if we need him. But he gave specific instructions to page the new cardio head, Dr. Theo Wright."

Cristina shook her head in annoyance, "Whatever…just page somebody from cardio down here. We need to get this guy to the OR now! The bullet is too close to his heart, and we need to take it out before we lose him."

After a frantic 20 minutes, she managed to get the patient temporarily stabilized, but the cardio doctor was still a no-show. Cristina hollered, "Where the HELL is Dr. Wright! Olivia, page him again and tell him to get his _ass_ down here!"

Just then, the doors burst open and revealed a tall and handsome doctor. "No need, I'm right here. So, you must be the infamous Dr. Cristina Yang! Burke's playmate and ex-fiancée. How do you do?!"

Cristina glared at him in disdain. "Dr. Wright, this is 32-year-old Nigel Evans, shot in the chest during a drive-by shooting. X-rays show the bullet is lodged in the right subclavian artery. We've started the patient on saline, but he's lost a lot of blood since he arrived. We're already on the sixth unit of blood. He-"

She whipped around to glance at the monitors as a shrill beeping interrupted her diagnosis. "He's in V-tach, charge the paddles to 200!" As Olivia handed her the paddles, she shouted more orders, "Push in an amp of epi!" Cristina froze when Dr. Wright yelled out his commands, too, "Page Dr. Burke with a 911 now! We're going to need his help on this case! Tell him to get here, STAT!" Shaking herself out of her temporary daze and ignoring her suddenly pounding heart, Cristina pressed the paddles to the patient's chest. "CLEAR!" Watching the patient's body jump up and fall back down to table, she continued to hear an abnormal heartbeat. Taking a deep breath, she called out, "Charge again to 200!" When Cristina heard the paddles charge up, she placed them on the man's chest again. "Clear!" She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard a reassuring and normal beat. Olivia announced to the room, "Sinus rhythm!"

Theo bellowed his orders, "Start the patient on 100 O2 by mask! Redline him to the OR. When Dr. Burke gets here, tell him to meet us there! Let's go, people! MOVE!"

As they ran out of the room, Cristina felt shaky. She wasn't scared of assisting in a surgery; no, this was the field that she loved the best. Unfortunately, the prospect of seeing Burke again left her stomach in knots and made her want to throw up. _Cristina Yang_, she thought firmly, _don't let a self-absorbed jerk like Burke destroy your potential in cardio._ But her heart twinged painfully at the thought of seeing her ex-fiance again, since the man had made her see a different side of herself. After all, he had been the only man she had truly loved.

* * *

Izzie stood in the scrub room, carefully prepping for the surgery. She jumped when a voice cut into her thoughts, "Crzy, huh?"

She whirled around to see Alex standing there with a grin. He shook his head as he walked over to the scrub sink. "Life sucks, huh? You're pregnant, and you're excited, about to give birth. Then you get shot, and suddenly, you and the baby are in danger."

Izzie studied Alex. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be back to fetching cappucinos for Sloan since you're off the gyne squad?"

He smiled mirthlessly. "Before Addison left, she told Dr. Ko that I had a natural talent for pink and squishy babies. So the _hot_ new doctor felt like paging me to be on this case. Not that I'm complaining…I was back to doing crap for Sloan, and it wasn't making me look good in front of my interns. So, you ready to help save not one, but two lives?"

At her nod, Alex smiled softly and led them into the OR.

As soon as they were in place, Dr. Bailey began the laparatomy, with Mia assisting the surgeon. Meanwhile, Izzie and Alex continued to study the fetal monitor, watching out for any changes. Suddenly, they saw the numbers increase. Izzie cried out in alarm, "Dr. Ko, the baby's having late D-cells. It's in respiratory distress!"

Mia looked up in alarm and began the procedure of getting the baby out. A few minutes later, she called out, "I need a clamp!" Suddenly, a baby's cries echoed through the OR. She smiled, "Get this baby on a pediatric warmer, and page pediatrics to come and take a look at her." Mia turned to her fellow surgeon, "How is she doing, Dr. Bailey?"

Bailey didn't even look up from her work. "She has a ruptured spleen, but I'm working on it. Dr. Stevens, what's her BP?"

Izzie glanced at the monitor, "110/100, pulse 52. She's going strong, Dr. Bailey."

The surgeon grunted, "Oh, damn! I need to remove her spleen, the damage is too extensive to try and save it. We also need to remove the bullet before she loses more blood."

Alex sighed. "Why is life so unpredictable? One minute you fine, the next, you're in the OR with a bullet in your stomach…unbelievable."

Mia glanced at him briefly before turning her attention back to the patient. "Dr. Karev, keep your mind on the present. The best thing we can do for the patient right now is to get this bullet out of her. The rest is up to her…but with such an adorable baby to keep her company, I'm sure she will be okay."

After that, the OR was shrouded in contemplative silence, save for the continuous beeping of the heart monitor.

* * *

Cristina closed her eyes, trying desperately to keep the tears from flowing. Cardiothoracic surgeons were tough; losing her composure would only make her seem weaker in front of that infuriatingly cocky Theo Wright. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Time of death, 5:25 P.M." Ripping off her gloves, she stormed out of the OR and began scrubbing out. Cristina was all too aware of Burke's inquisitive look, so she finished quickly and left the room. Suddenly, she yelped in surprise when he grabbed her arm and dragged her toward the stairwell. Struggling to free herself from his firm grip, she snarled, "Let _go _of me! Where the hell are you taking me?!" Howling, she finally managed to wrench her arm away. She yanked the stairway door open with unnecessary force. When Burke continued to follow her, Cristina finally exploded. "What are you doing?! You left me, and we went our separate ways 17 days ago. So what the hell?"

Burke grinned, which only served to infuriate her even more. "I missed you, Cristina. Aren't I at least entitled to that? When she threw her hands up in disgust and continued walking down the stairs, he quickly sobered up and followed her. "What?" Burke asked in genuine confusion. "I thought-"

With unshed tears glittering in her eyes, Cristina whirled on him. "I was always giving 100 into this relationship. I _loved _you in the best way that I knew how to, okay! I told you, I wanted a small ceremony; if you had listened to me instead of Momma, we might be happily married right now. Look, the second you left me at that church, you destroyed any chance of us getting back together. I had vows on the day of our wedding; Callie wrote them on my hand for me during the bachelorette party. But then Mama took my eyebrows. Did you know that I stood in front of Dr. Bailey and _begged_ her to let me cut?! I had lost all sense of being me; I didn't feel like a surgeon anymore. Hell! I didn't even feel like a person. So you're going to wipe that smirk off your face and leave me alone until my shift ends. I can't talk to you right now because I'm so angry that I can't even _look _at you. So, I'm going to be the mature one and walk away so that we can talk calmly as two respectful adults. Meet me at the hospital entrance at 10:00 tonight. We'll go home, and we can talk. But if you thought for one second that we might be able to repair our relationship, then you are _so _wrong!"

Hurrying away, Cristina finally let the pent-up tears cascade down her face, while Burke stood frozen on the spot, regret flashing across his features for a brief second.

* * *

Alex whipped open the curtain concealing his next patient, exhausted from this seemingly endless day. The repair on his patient had taken hours, and even now, they were in critical condition. He sighed, recalling his conversation with the patient's loved one. 

_Alex walked into the surgical waiting room. His eyes scanned the room and landed on the lone occupant. "Excuse me, sir? Are you waiting on news about_ _Alyssa Henderson?"_

_After the man nodded worriedly and introduced himself as Craig Davis, Alex began to describe the patient's condition. "Alyssa is in critical condition right now. Although we managed to take the baby out, the bullet did extensive damage to her spleen. We were forced to remove it, but most people can survive without their spleen. However, what concerns us right now is that her kidney is showing signs of rapid detoriation. If that continues, we will have to start her on dialysis until we can find a viable kidney donor."_

_When Craig began to sob and stammer, Alex awkwardly patted his shoulder. "Mr. Davis, I promise you that we'll do everything we can. Don't worry; your girlfriend still has a lot of fighting strength left in her. With you and the baby by her side, I'm sure she'll overcome any obstacles…"_

Taking a deep breath and rubbing a hand over his face, he forced himself to keep a good bedside manner. Turning to the group of interns clustered around him, he asked tiredly, "Nancy, patient's name…"

Before she could answer, his eyes raked in the patient's delicate features. All of a sudden, he froze when his numb brain finally registered who was sitting in front of him. His heart stopped when she shot him a sad but radiant smile. "Hey, Alex." _

* * *

The storm is coming, but I don't mind,  
People are dying, I close my blinds.  
All that I know is i'm breathing.  
I want to change the world...instead I sleep,  
_

_I want to believe in more than you and me… _

But all that i know is i'm breathing,  
All i can do is keep breathing,  
All we can do is keep breathing now…  
Now…now… 

_  
All that I know is i'm breathing,  
All I can do is keep breathing…  
All we can do is keep breathing.  
All we can do is keep breathing,  
_

_All we can do is keep breathing,  
All we can do is keep breathing,  
All we can do is keep breathing._

_All we can do is keep breathing,_

_All we can do is keep breathing,_

_All we can do is keep breathing._

_All we can do is keep breathing now…_

-Ingrid Michaelson, Keep Breathing

AN: _Like it, love it, hate it? Please review, review, review; wow, this was a long chapter. Hehe…I felt the need for a longer length since I stopped updating for a while. The next chapter is coming very, very, soon! Hopefully by the end of this week…or even earlier. Thank you for the continued support!_


	3. Afraid

**Sypnopsis**

_"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…_

**A.N.**: Wow, this was one of the hardest chapters to write! Writing about multiple couples really takes a lot of time, but here it is, the loooong and overdue Chapter 3 of _Look After You_. Thanks for the reviews, it's been really encouraging!

* * *

**Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Nurse Olivia:** Dr. Burke left on extended leave 17 days ago, but he's still in Seattle if we need him. But he gave specific instructions to page the new cardio head, Dr. Theo Wright.

-**Dr. Theo Wright:** So, you must be the infamous Dr. Cristina Yang! Burke's playmate and ex-fiancée. How do you do?!

-**Dr. Izzie Stevens: **Life sucks, huh? You're pregnant, and you're excited, about to give birth. Then you get shot, and suddenly, you and the baby are in danger.

-**Dr. Alex Karev:** …The _hot_ new doctor felt like paging me to be on this case. Not that I'm complaining…I was back to doing crap for Sloan, and it wasn't making me look good in front of my interns.

-**Dr. Preston Burke**: I missed you, Cristina. Aren't I at least entitled to that?

-**Dr. Cristina Yang:** I was always giving 100 into this relationship. I _loved _you in the best way that I knew how to…I can't talk to you right now because I'm so angry that I can't even _look _at you.

* * *

_Pain is a universal feeling. Sometimes, it's good. It helps us grow stronger; it can give us insight into our seemingly overwhelming problems. But most of the time, pain stays with us. It's a slow-moving poison that courses through our veins, reminding us of unhealed hearts or forgotten promises. There is also the physical kind of pain; the kind that we as doctors are supposed to fix. The key word is supposed to; because sometimes, the damage is just too extensive. And when that happens, doctors are left standing in the aftermath, grateful to survive yet another day of loss… _

Alex whipped open the curtain concealing his next patient, exhausted from this seemingly endless day. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to keep his voice friendly. Turning to the group of interns clustered around him, he asked tiredly, "Nancy, patient's name…"

Before the woman could answer, his eyes raked in the patient's delicate features. All of a sudden, he froze when his slow brain finally registered who was sitting in front of him. His heart stopped when she shot him a sad but radiant smile.

"Hey, Alex."

* * *

As Alex continued to stare at the patient, she looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face. "What, cat got your tounge? Aren't you even going to say hi to me?" 

Clearing his suddenly dry throat, Alex looked away for a second. His hands were trembling uncontrollably, but he wouldn't let his interns know how shaky he was feeling. "Um, guys? Go home…it's been a long day. I'll finish up here." Aware of their curious stares, he pulled his trump card. Injecting authority into his voice, he yelled, "Go…NOW!" As they shuffled away, he turned his attention back to the woman before him. "Hey…you came back to Seattle. That's great." Forcing a weak grin, he shifted uncomfortably. "So…long time no see!" He groaned inwardly. _Great going, Karev. How pathetic could you be?! 'Long time no see?' Psh…of all things you could have said to her, you had to pick the most boring conversation starter. __**Dumbass!**_

Ava's face now bore a dumbfounded look, and she looked ready to explode. "ALEX KAREV! I haven't seen you in _three weeks_. I just risked my marriage with another man to come and see you. Considering how you ripped my soul to pieces the last time I saw you, I don't even know _why_ I'm here. But the only thing you can think of is, 'Long time no see…' You are _unbelievable_. Did you even miss me during this time? I _love_ you, Alex! I told you last time; I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know and love you. Three words…that's _**all**_ you have to say for me to go back and end my marriage to Jeff. I'm ready, Alex, but maybe I was wrong in thinking that you felt the same way about me. So tell me, am I going to leave Seattle with a broken heart again?"

Alex's heart raced. Here was the chance he had desperately wanted to be with the only woman who had turned his life upside down. The short time that he had spent with her had convinced him that Ava was his soulmate. But how could he have a relationship with her? After all, he had never been able to recover from the trauma of his childhood. But he'd be damned if he let this chance slip away, knowing that he would regret it if he didn't tell her how he really felt. With sweat pouring down his face, he gently pulled Ava down onto the bed until he was eye level with her. He had never felt so nervous in his life. "Look, to be honest, I _never_ thought I was going to see you again after you left the hospital with Jeff. I drove up there to see you before I started my residency, but I lost the courage and came back to Seattle. That whole time, all I wanted to do was think of a way to tell you how much you mean to me, but I _can't_. Dr. Montgomery was right; I regret not telling you how I feel, because that's killed me every waking moment since you walked out my life. So I'm so _sorry_ for blowing the one chance that I had to be with the love of my life…you."

He jumped when she let out a frustrated sigh. "Alex, this _is _your second chance! Okay?! I came back to you because I've missed you _so_ much. I'm may be stupid for doing this, but I'm willing to take the risk of getting hurt by you again! So I'm going to ask you one more time…can you give me a reason to stay in Seattle? You saved me from a marriage that was bound to destroy me sooner or later. And I'm repaying that debt by giving you another chance because I feel that you are the one for me. I was destined to meet and fall in love with you at a time when my future was a blank slate. Alex, you named me Ava; you're the reason that I'm still _alive_. So, please?! Give me _any_ reason to leave my old life behind."

Carefully wiping away the tears that had begun to fall, Alex caressed her rosy cheeks. "You were wrong when you said that I'm the reason that you're still standing here…it's the other way around. You've given me a reason to believe in love. I…I grew up with a mother who lived in a broken marriage. My dad was an abusing, drugged up _son of a bitch_, and that's screwed me over…I am so terrified that if I get married and have kids, I'm going to turn into him. That's why I've never been able to commit to a long-term relationship. I'm not the arrogant playboy that people see me as; I just don't want to subject the woman I love to stay by my side if I follow down my father's path. I certainly can't expect you to do that for me. You deserve so much more than I can give you."

Ava enveloped his suddenly trembling body in her arms, holding Alex close while he sobbed. She whispered softly in his ear, "I love you, Karev. And I know you won't become your father. Do you know why? Because you became a doctor…somebody who spent years to learn the art of healing has _something _good inside of him. Your interest in obstetrics and gynecology show that you believe hope and love still exists in the world. I know you come off as an asshole to a lot of people; but I saw the _real_ you, Alex. You showed me more compassion than I've ever felt in my life. And you'll always be the man who changed my life for the better, not Jeff. You opened my eyes to the world that I'd been missing out since I got married. So I don't care about what happened in the past! We can't undo our mistakes; the only thing we can do is look forward to the future."

Alex sniffed and wiped away the tears still trickling down his face. Kissing Ava softly on the lips, he murmured the words she wanted to hear, feeling the painful misery of the last few weeks lift. "I love you…and I'm never going to leave you again. Stay with me; don't ever leave me. I need you with me."

With a huge smile gracing her beautiful face, Ava sighed contentedly. "Come what may, Alex. I love you…" She buried her face into his shoulder, both of them reveling in their newfound love.

* * *

Preston Burke sat in his old apartment, completely uneasy. The tension hung in the air, thick enough to be cut with a butter knife. Meanwhile, Cristina sat across him, her face unpassive but eyes brimming with concealed emotion. After arriving home, neither of them had spoken a word. 

_Here we are, _

_Seven days and seven nights of empty tries._

_We're to the point of no return,_

_And along the way, the only thing we've learned,_

_Is how to hurt each other…_

_I don't want to wait another minute, put me out of my misery,_

_I can read your mind, baby you're not in it,_

_And we're not where we used to be._

_No, you wouldn't have to lie to me,_

_If you would only let me go,_

_I don't want to wait another minute,_

_To hear something that I already know._

-Backstreet Boys, Something That I Already Know

Preston finally sighed and met Cristina's gaze. "Let's not beat around the bush anymore."

She stared at him with impassive eyes, but when she spoke, she sounded weary and confused. "Burke, we're not beating around the bush. Hell, we're not even _talking_." She paused for a second, desperately trying to tamp down the hurt and act like a mature adult. "Why did you leave me. Did all that crap about wanting to spend the rest of your life with me mean nothing? I mean, tell me _something_, Preston. Since the day of our wedding, I've been wondering if I was a bad girlfriend. How could happily ever after turn into something that's hurting me so much?"

Preston couldn't help it; reaching out, he carressed Cristina's cheek, gently wiping away the tears that were slowly making their way down her smooth cheeks. He took her hand and cradled it lovingly. "Cristina, I love you. But saying that to myself 10,000 times didn't stop the feelings of regret. Our relationship has changed you; sure, in some ways, you've changed for the better. But for the most part, you've sacrificed too much; you were becoming the Cristina that _I _wanted. And it never occurred to me that maybe you hadn't noticed your change. But as much as a relationship is about loving each other, it's also about not having to conform to your partner's expectations. I started realizing this when you were in that bridal shop, trying on that ridiculous wedding dress. You were trying so hard to make me happy that you finally ended up agreeing to our parents' dream wedding. But the Cristina Yang that I fell in love with wouldn't have been so agreeable; she would have fought to the end to get married at City Hall and have a small ceremony, with only Derek and Meredith as witnesses. I changed you, and I can't stand by and watch the woman I love become a shadow of her former self. If loving _you_ is going to require me to walk away from you, then I'll do that."

Cristina stared at Burke, trying in vain to stop the tears, but they seemed to have a life of their own. "So this is it? The end of a relationship that has seen more than a fair share of setbacks? We're just going to pretend that we never met? You're walking away?!"

Burke looked up and caught her defiant glare. A sad smile flitted across his pained features before he continued to stare at her. He saw the realization flood across her face before the tears began cascading down her cheeks at a furious pace. "This relationship is really over," she whispered brokenly.

Yearning for a few more minutes with the woman who had stolen his heart, he took a deep breath and stood up. Sighing, he extended a hand to her. "Cristina, can you give me the honor of one dance? Give me a chance to cherish one happy moment in our relationship?"

She looked up at him, pain turning her eyes an unatural shade of black. Nodding slowly, she stood up and buried her face into his chest, cherishing their last moments as a couple.

_Ninety miles outside Chicago,  
Can't stop driving, I don't know why,  
So many questions...that need an answer,  
Two years later, you're still on my mind. _

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?  
Who holds the stars up in the sky?  
Is true love just once in a lifetime?

Did the captain of Titanic cry?

Oh, someday we'll know:  
If love can move a mountain,  
Someday we'll know,  
Why the sky is blue. 

_  
Someday we'll know,  
Why I wasn't meant for you... _

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?  
What the wind says when she cries?  
I'm speeding by the place that I met you,  
For the ninety-seventh time... 

_Tonight…  
Someday we'll know,  
If love can move a mountain  
Someday we'll know,  
Why the sky is blue._

_  
Someday we'll know,  
Why I wasn't meant for you...  
_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! _

Someday we'll know,  
Why Sampson loved Delilah,  
One day I'll go,  
Dancing on the moon. 

_  
Someday you'll know,  
That I was the one for you...I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow…_

_Watched the stars crash in the sea,  
If I can ask God just one question,  
Why aren't you here with me?_

_Tonight…  
Oh, someday we'll know,  
If love can move a mountain,  
Someday we'll know,  
Why the sky is blue._

_Someday we'll know,  
Why I wasn't meant for you...  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah _

Someday we'll know,  
Why Sampson loved Delilah?  
One day I'll go,  
Dancing on the moon. 

_  
Someday you'll know,  
That I was the one for you..._

-Mandy Moore/Jonathan Foreman, Someday We'll Know

* * *

Derek walked into the hospital room the next morning with George, and a smile immediately sprang to his face when he saw his patient. "Helen, it's so nice to see you! Are you here for your 3-month checkup?" 

Helen smiled at George and pulled Derek close for a friendly hug. "I'm hoping that you're going to give me a clean bill of health so I can go on vacation with my new boyfriend, Joe." She grinned and pulled away slightly to study Derek closely. "What's wrong?"

Derek was startled by her question, and looked away for a brief second. "What makes you think that anything's wrong? I have a great job, supportive friends, and a won…wonderful girlfriend." He cursed inwardly as his throat closed up unexpectedly. His heart began to twinge again as he thought about Meredith. He hadn't seen the love of his life for 17 days, and it felt like each day without her had broken his spirit just a little more.

"Look at me!" When Derek refused to acknowledge her, Helen sighed. "Derek, stop staring at the ground. That's not going to win back your girlfriend." She smiled slightly when Derek's head finally snapped up to look at her in surprise. "Excuse me?" Helen smirked, "Honey, I've known you for a long time; your unhappiness is everywhere on your face. You're so expressive that I can read you like an open book."

Derek sank down onto the edge of the bed, studdenly feeling ashamed of showing his emotion and painfully aware of George's presence. "O'Malley, can you please wait outside? I have something to say to Dr. Crawford." After he left quietly, Derek turned to Helen. "Am I that obvious?" Sighing, he looked pleadingly at his friend. "What am I going to do?! I love her, but she keeps pushing me away. And I keep telling myself, give her time. Easier said than done. She turns to her friends during crises that I should be helping her through. I mean, I understand. Her mother was a world-class surgeon who abandoned her, and her father never made an effort to include her in his life after he remarried. She nearly drowned, her surrogate mother died, and her best friend got dumped at the altar. What am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm too protective; maybe that's why Meredith turns away from me."

Helen looked at him in quiet contemplation. "Derek, from what you said, I can tell how much you love this Meredith. But I know from experience; loving someone isn't always easy. And I know that if you love this woman so much, you'll be willing to do anything for her. Tell her how much she means to you; but give her a push in the right direction. If you love her as much as I think you do, then you're just going to have to be the mature one in the relatonhip. Let her grow, but stay by her side. I may not know much about love, but I _know_ that you two will grow happy and old together." Smiling gently, she wiped away the tears that had started to fall down Derek's cheeks. "There, there, sweetie…let it all out now, because you have to be Meredith's knight-in-shining-armor."

Looking at Helen for a long moment, Derek finally shook his head. "You're an amazing friend, Helen. Don't you ever forget that…I'lll have O'Malley do the tests, so I'll be back later to give you a clean bill of health, okay?" At her nod, he laughed and walked out of the room, feeling a tad more purposeful than when he had first walked into the hospital that morning.

Meredith walked out of her bathroom, groaning as she rubbed her tired eyes. Being a resident had taken more than a fair share of energy out of her; added with the fact that most of her interns were complete idiots, she was glad when her shift was over.

"Hey, Meredith."

The quiet but familiar greeting made her jump a mile before she turned around. Derek was standing in the hall, leaning comfortably against her door frame. She swallowed as she took in his appearance. Wearing a navy blue sweatshirt that accentuated his gorgeous blue eyes, he watched her intently with a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

His smile faded when she stammered, "What are you doing here, Derek? I thought you told me that you a woman…at Joe's. Why are you in my room when you said that I'm 'constantly leaving you?' I'm tired, Derek…it's been a real long day, and I kno-"

Derek sighed as he cut her off. "You saved my life. Before I met you, I was drowning in a world of misery and denial; I didn't know which way was up. I didn't want to admit to myself that my marriage with Addison was over; I hated the fact that I had witnessed my _best_ friend screwing my wife! But you were like a breath of fresh air that blew into my tumultuous life. And I told you, I'm in this the whole way. I love you so much that it hurts. So please…just give me one sign that you love me just as much. Tell me that you feel the same way. Because I'm willing to step up to the plate and wait as long as it takes for you to let go of the past. But I need a sign; this relationship is never going to work if only one of us is committed."

Meredith sighed, shifting her position on the bed every few seconds as Derek watched her with longing and passion bruning in his eyes. Biting her lip, she thought about how devastated Cristina had been when Burke left her at the altar. Most of all, Meredith thought about her dark and twisty life. True, she had been exposed to nothing but messed up relationships throughout her life; however, her off-and-on relationship with Derek had allowed her to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The time she spent with him had given her a glimpse of the bright and shiny Meredith; the person she wanted to become. But she was just so _scared_ of yet another roadblock in her life, something that would prevent her from opening up to Derek again.

"Derek, I _am_ giving my all into this relationship. It's just that…you know I've never seen a relationship work in my life. Cristina getting engaged to Burke was the only example I had to see if happily ever after even exists in real life. Since that's gone to hell, I feel like dark and twisty people really can't have a loving relationship that's bright and shiny." When he opened his mouth to protest, she hurriedly went on. "WAIT, let me finish!" Taking a deep breath, she found herself stroking his cheek. "I also know this…you _have_ been there for me, through thick and thin. So I promise you that I'm going to do my absolute best to let you in. I want to open up to you, I really do. But the thing that you have to understand about the dark and twisty Meredith is that she's going clam up and want to deal with things in her own little way. I'm always going to fight the urge to run and hide, but with your patience, I think it might be a good enough reason to let you stay. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to make this relationship work." She stood up and gazed into Derek's eyes. "Please don't ever leave me. I can't let go of the past without you by my side. Okay?"

Smiling widely with tears glimmering in his eyes, Derek shrugged playfully. "I've always been there…and I'm never going to leave. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not."

Meredith gazed lovingly at him before sitting back down on the bed. Crossing the room in a few strides, Derek showered her with a passionate kiss. Hugging her close, he kissed the top of her head. Meredith melted into his protective embrace, reveling in the sheer bliss of being in his arms again. She had missed him so much during the last 17 days. "You truly are my knight in shining whatever, McDreamy…but I'm sure you already know that."

When morning came, Meredith and Derek were still wrapped in each other's arms, thankful that they had a second chance to get their happily ever after.

_

* * *

Just when it's getting good,  
I slowly start to freeze.  
Just when it's feeling real, _

_I put my heart to sleep._

_  
It's the memory I can see,  
Then this fear comes over me,  
Understand that I don't mean,  
To push you away from me… _

Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?  
Why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?

You got a way of easing me out of myself,  
I can't stay but I can't leave, I am my worst enemy,  
Please understand that its not you, it's what I do,  
Just when I'm about to run I realize what I've become.

Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?  
Why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?

Now I wonder what you think of me,  
Don't kow why I break so easily,  
All my fears are armed surrounding me,  
I can't get no sleep. 

_  
I keep runnin in circles around you,  
Are you the trap I wanna fall into? _

Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?  
Why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me? 

_Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?  
Why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again?  
I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me?_

-Vanessa Hudgens, Afraid


	4. So Close

**Sypnopsis: **

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

**A.N.**: A huge apology for not updating sooner! This chapter has caused me a bit of a writer's block, since my muse decided to take a vacation right after I finished finals. I'll be updating more (I promise)! Anyhoo, enjoy this chapter; I know I did…

**

* * *

Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Alex Karev:** I just don't want to subject the woman I love to stay by my side if I follow down my father's path. I certainly can't expect you to do that for me. You deserve so much more than I can give you.

-**Ava:** You became a doctor…somebody who spent years to learn the art of healing has something good inside of him.

-**Helen: **Derek, from what you said, I can tell how much you love this Meredith. But I know from experience; loving someone isn't always easy. And I know that if you love this woman so much, you'll be willing to do anything for her. Tell her how much she means to you; but give her a push in the right direction.

-**Dr. Meredith Grey:** I want to open up to you, I really do. But the thing that you have to understand about the dark and twisty Meredith is that she's going clam up and want to deal with things in her own little way. I'm always going to fight the urge to run and hide.

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd:** I've always been there…and I'm never going to leave.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang:** So this is it? The end of a relationship that has seen more than a fair share of setbacks? We're just going to pretend that we never met?

_

* * *

Love, along with medicine, saves lives. As doctors, we don't like to believe that. We choose to believe that our skill was the only factor that helped the patient survive surgery. But even we can't deny that love has helped produce miracles. Sometimes, however, that very love has the capability to wreck lives. Relationships are destroyed, sometimes beyond repair. But as they say, we can't control our destiny…_

Meredith snuggled up to Derek, listening to his deep breathing. She kissed his lips, feeling a smile spread across her face. He wrapped his arms around her, groaning in contentment. Derek cracked one eye open, a lazy smile tugging at the corner of her lips. After a few minutes of playfulness, they rolled out of bed. "Damn," he mumbled. "My shift starts in half an hour…what I wouldn't give to spend the whole day in bed with you." He looked at her with an impish grin as Meredith chuckled and threw a pillow at him. "You wish," she giggled. "Chief is going to…" She stopped suddenly, her hand flying to her mouth.

Brushing off Derek's look of concern, she flashed a dazzling smile at him. "I'm okay, before you can ask. I just felt nauseous for a second." Stroking her cheek, he pulled Meredith against his chest. "I can ask Richard for a day off. If you're feeling sick, you shouldn't go to work." She gently pushed him away. "No way! I'm a resident now, with my own interns to keep out of trouble. I can't afford to skip the day. They need to learn…"

Derek grinned at her look of determination. "Okay…get in the shower. It'll make you feel better. Meanwhile, I'll go make breakfast."

Thirty minutes later, the couple was piled into Meredith's car and driving towards the hospital.

* * *

Izzie stood in the locker room, changing into her white lab coat. She stroked her embroidered name, feeling nostalgic. All around her, people were getting hooked up, while she felt like she was drowning in an ocean of misery. She missed Denny, but she found herself pining more for George. Her best friend had avoided her like the plague ever since her confession, and Izzie fervently wished she could turn back the clock to simpler times. She jumped when Callie barged into the room in a raging bad mood. _Does she know_? Izzie swallowed involuntarily, remembering the time when the chief resident had threatened to beat Meredith up. Luckily, Meredith had had Izzie to protect her, but now she was totally alone. 

When Callie gave her a withering glance, she smiled shakily. "Good morning, Dr. Torres." Watching the other doctor carefully, Izzie breathed a sigh of relief when Callie grunted a response. "Dr. Stevens…what's going on with you and George? I thought he'd be glad to have you as his resident, but he was in a raging bad mood yesterday. Did something happen between you guys?"

Not knowing what to say, Izzie could only shrug. "I don't know; maybe he's just pissed about repeating his intern year. Anyways, I've got to do rounds with my interns, so…you know, have a great day breaking bones or something."

Before her burning face could give her away, Izzie hurried out of the locker room, cringing as she felt Callie's intense gaze following her.

* * *

George slammed his fist against the elevator wall, grateful that there wasn't anyone around to witness his uncharacteristic behavior. Wincing in pain, he rubbed his sore knuckles and slumped to the floor, gripping his head. Why, oh _why_, did life have to be so complicated for him? Not only did he have to repeat his intern year, he had to do it with Izzie as his _boss_! What the hell had the chief been thinking, assigning his former best friend to his intern group? It was bad enough that he couldn't seem to stop fantasizing about her day and night, but now he had to work with Izzie. Sighing, he got up as the elevator chimed cheerfully, announcing his arrival on the surgical floor. As he got off the elevator and walked up to the nurses' station, he suddenly stopped in shock when he recognized one of the figures. "Mom?!" he called out in confusion. His mother turned around, a grin spreading across her face as she took in the sight of her son. 

"Oh, Georgie! Don't just stand there; come and give your mother a big, warm hug!" He laughed and enveloped her in his arms, burying his head in her shoulder. She cupped his face in her hands and looked at him straight in the eye. "Young man, you and I need to talk."

His throat suddenly tight, George suddenly had an overwhelming urge to tell his mother about his situation with Izzie. Maybe she could help him gain perspective and sort out his feelings. After all, he needed to tell someone his problems before he cracked from the strain.

Turning the corner, he stopped by the supply closet. "Here, Mom. We can talk privately in here." Noticing his mother's dubious glance, he chuckled, remembering her fetish with sanitation. "Don't worry, its very roomy and clean in there." Taking her hand, they walked into the cramped but comfortable space. What he didn't see was Callie, standing right outside the door.

* * *

Meredith ran into the bathroom and threw herself frantically into a stall, closing the door just in time. In the next second, she was bent over the toilet bowl for the third time in less than an hour. She had barely gotten through rounds before the nausea had made its pressence known. Retching miserably, she barely heard the bathroom door open. 

"Mere! Are you in there?" Her best friend's voice echoed loudly to her, causing her to groan and continue throwing up. She heard Cristina sigh. "Your intern tracked me down. Told me to look out for you because _somebody_ looked like they had been through the wringer." Cristina chuckled. "Bet you and McDreamy had naughty reunion sex last night. Oh, everybody knows that you guys hooked back up. By the way, did you know that the new cardio head is an arrogant, bull-headed asshole? He keeps calling me Burke's _playmate_! In front of my interns, too. God, I hate him!" She stopped her rant when Meredith emerged, her face as pale as alabaster and cold sweat trailing down into her scrubs. Cristina stared at her best friend, shocked into silence. "You look like hell, Mere!" When she received a withering glare, she shrugged. "It's true! What the hell did you guys do last night?" Realization dawned on her as she remembered the last time Meredith had been puking her guts out. Cristina released a shaky breath, taking her best friend's hand in a comforting grip. "Oh, my God…are you _pregnant_?!"

Meredith raised her frightened eyes at Cristina before she suddenly burst into tears. "I don't know!" she wailed in despair. "I've already thrown up three times this morning! Seriously, what am I going to do?! I don't _think_ I'm pregnant."

The Asian doctor looked at her with sympathy. "You've got to get yourself checked out. Maybe you just have a really bad case of the stomach flu-" Meredith abruptly wrenched her hand away and ran back into the toilet. As she started vomiting again, Cristina smirked. "Oh, right. You're so not pregant." After Meredith was done, she took her gently by the arm. "I'll talk to Dr. Ko for you. She's the new OB/GYN head, and she'll give us an answer." Hugging her trembling friend, Cristina managed a smile. "It'll be okay, Mere…"

* * *

George felt his Mom's piercing gaze on him as he shifted uncomfortably. He cleared his throat. "So, Mom…how have you been? Ronnie and Jerry okay?" 

His mother nodded. "Everyone's okay. But George, is it true that you married Callie? I was just talking to Chief Webber, and he said that you guys got married in Vegas? How come nobody told me? I should have been there for my son's wedding. Lord knows your father would have wanted to see you marry someone that you love."

George hung his head, feeling like a kid who had been caught stealing cookies out of the cookie jar. "Mom, I'm sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing. There just wasn't time to call everybody up by the time Callie and I decided to elope to Vegas."

Louise O'Malley studied her son carefully. His face was lined with fatigue, but one look at the miserable grey eyes told her that George was carrying more than guilt for not telling her that he was married. When she gently tilted his head and forced him to look at her, George continued to avoid her gaze. Heaving a sigh filled with anguish, he finally shoved his trembling hands into his scrub pants and decided to confide in his mom. With tears flowing down his face, he took a deep breath, terrified about her reaction. "Mum…I did something horrible, and I need to know what to do. I got into a fight with Callie a while ago, and I was questioning my marriage. I went over to Meredith's to talk to Izzie, and apparently, we had a one night stand."

Hearing his Louise's gasp of dismay, George hung his head. "I was _so _mad at myself for cheating on my wife. But that's not even the hardest part. I…I think I'm falling for Izzie. Oh, God! Mom, I don't what to do." He collapsed against her shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. His mom tousled his hair and sighed. "George, I'm not going to say that what you did wasn't wrong. It was a terrible and unfaithful thing to do to Callie. You broke your sacred vow to her. But Georgie, do you know why your father and I lasted for 40 years? Yes, bless his heart, our marriage wasn't perfect and we had our share of arguments. But what kept us going was that we knew that we loved each other. Despite his faults, I cherished him from the day I met him until the moment he took his last breath."

George hugged his mother closely, gently wiping away the tears that were forming as she spoke. Cupping his face in her hands, Louise's eyes hardened as she drove home her point. "Baby, a successful marriage isn't a one way street. If either one of you doesn't love the other enough, it's _not_ going to work out. In other words, if you're pining for Izzie, then you can't possibly love Callie enough to do her justice. I trust you…I've raised you to be a good man with the right morals. And I know, without a doubt, that you'll make the best decision that you can under these circumstances. Don't worry, son. An answer will come to you; just follow your heart."

As Louise hugged a weeping George, little did she know that her daughter-in-law was standing right outside the supply closet. Callie angrily swiped away the tears that were falling. Her world had just shattered before her eyes, but she'd be damned if she let go of George without a confrontation with Izzie Stevens. Clenching her fists and squaring her shoulders, she stalked towards the elevators, determined to find the blonde resident.

* * *

Mia put away the transducer and smiled sympathetically as Meredith leaned over the examination bed and vomited again into the trashcan. As she started printing the pictures, Meredith groaned miserably, her face pale and shining with a layer of sweat. "Well, Dr. Grey, it appears you're pregnant, but I'm pretty sure you deduced that yourself. Your obstetric ultrasonography tells me that you're 8 weeks pregnant. Congratulations! If you don't mind me asking, who's the father?" 

Cristina, eyes glowing with triumph, took the initiative. Grinning like the Chesire Cat, she announced loudly, "McDreamy!" Noticing Mia's look of confusion, she elaborated. "Dr. Derek Shepherd. Head of Neuro. They've been dating for about a year." When Meredith groaned and elbowed Cristina in the ribs, she protested. "What?!"

Laughing, Mia handed Meredith the sonogram pictures. "Well, once again, congratulations. By the way, you might want to let this Dr. Shepherd know that's he going to be a daddy." Turning around to leave, she missed the look of panic that flashed across the resident's face.

When the exam room door closed, Meredith whipped around to face Cristina. "Holy shit…I'm really pregnant. Oh, my God! I'm McPregnant. How could this happen to me!" Hearing her friend's wails, Cristina was shocked. "Whoa, hold it! Meredith, you're nurturing the ultimate sign of love between you and McDreamy. You're going to be a mother, and you're gonna have to grow up. Like you told me once a long time ago, this baby is innocent, and it deserves every chance it can get to live its life. Now, you're going to get your _ass_ off that bed, march upstairs, and tell Derek the good news. You have an obligation to protect the growing human inside of you. And you know what? I know for a fact that you and Shepherd are going to make _damn good_ parents." Handing Meredith a tissue to wipe her face and helping her off the bed, Cristina smiled and hugged her best friend. "You're going to have a McBaby." Laughing, Meredith playfully swatted Cristina's head, the panic attack receding as they walked over to the elevators.

* * *

Just as Callie was about to give up and confront George first, she saw Izzie walking out of the on-call room, heading for the elevators. Just as the doors were closing, Callie barged in and blindly pressed a floor button, while Izzie continued scribbling on a notebook. Raising her head, she gave a start when she saw Callie. Before she could open her mouth, the older woman raised a hand. "_No_, let me talk first." Noticing that Callie's voice shook with barely controlled anger and just a hint of sadness, Izzie's heartbeat jumped erratically. _Does she know? Did George tell her?_ She swallowed, her face suddenly feeling flushed. Nodding, she gestured for the Chief Resident to start talking. 

"Stevens, remember that conversation we had less than a month ago? In this elevator? I asked you, no…_begged_ you, to give me my husband back. Little did I know that I raised this issue too late." Seeing Izzie's panicked look through a curtain of tears, Callie choked out her words. "I overhead George telling his mother. About your one night stand." She spat out the words, hurt and beyond disappointed at her husband. "I thought we could be friends after Cristina's wedding planning forced us to acknowledge each other. But, God! You slept with another woman's husband! How can you sleep at night, knowing you wrecked your best friend's marriage?!" Ignoring the younger woman's expression of shame, Callie shook her head. "I'm not going to jeopardize my career over this, but know this…I hate your guts!" Seeing that the elevator had reached a floor, she hurried off, but not before snarling over her shoulder, "I hope you burn in hell, you treacherous bitch!"

Izzie crumpled to the floor, sobbing as the elevator doors closed. Ever since she had slept with George, she had dreaded the day that Callie would find out about their affair. Somehow, she had always expected that Callie would be angry enough to want to break her bones. But as Izzie shook from the force of her tears, she found that this civilized confrontation had only made her feel a hundred times more guilty.

* * *

Getting off on the surgical floor, Meredith's throat tightened as she immediately spotted Derek chatting animatedly with Mark. The two best friends were howling in laughter, Derek's eyes shining in contentment. Feeling a nudge from behind, she turned around to stare into the eyes of her now impatient best friend. Cristina gently pushed her, "Go tell your knight in shining whatever…go on!" Her legs suddenly feeling like jello, Meredith forced herself to walk towards the chuckling friends. Turning around, Derek spotted her, a radiant smile spreading across his eyes. "Meredith!" Clutching his hand tightly, she nodded at her friend. "Good afternoon, Mark." 

Pausing for a second, she accepted Derek's kiss, sighing as she stroked his cheek. "Derek, I've got to tell you something." When his eyes suddenly became concerned, she hurried on. _Oh, what the hell_! "I'm pregnant!" she blurted out before she could lose her nerve. Barely noticing that Mark's jaw had dropped to floor, she concentrated on Derek. His look of shock suddenly changed to a excited yell. "Are you _serious_?! I'm going to be a father! Oh, my God!" Lifting Meredith up, he swung her around and around, laughing as Mark began whooping. Serenading her with enthusiastic kisses, Derek hugged Meredith closer and whispered, "Thank you…" Still holding her around the waist, Derek addressed their now boisterous coworkers. "Drinks tonight at Joe's are on me!" Tuning out the loud cheers, the happy couple stared at each other, realizing that this was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives.

However, the world turned upside down when a thunderous voice broke through the noise.

"MEREDITH GREY! DEREK SHEPHERD! Don't move!"

Meredith whipped around, horror stealing her breath away as she recognized the voice. _Is that Finn?_ Her mind whirled as she took in the ragged and deranged appearance of her ex-boyfriend. His eyes gleamed with dementia, but what made her heart stop was the shining silver gun he clutched desperately in his right hand. Beside her, Derek stood frozen as well, his trembling hand gripping Meredith's in a protective grasp. His breathing was shallow; not that she could blame him. At this rate, Meredith felt like she could pass out at any second. She watched Finn carefully, hoping this was all just a bad nightmare that she could wake up from.

Beside her, Mark, Cristina and the assorted staff could only stare in shock as the danger unfolded. Standing behind the admit desk, Mark tripped a silent alarm for the police, desperately trying to look discrete.

"You took her away from me, you _bastard_!" Finn was shouting. "My life was perfect when Meredith was in it. She gave me a reason to live, but you? You just wanted a good playmate, somebody who would cling to you like a faithful puppy dog. But ever since she chose you, I've lost my practice and the love of my life! You have everything, while I have no reason to live!"

Meredith gasped, and she tried desperately to find encouraging words that would get them out of this mess. "Finn, I…" She abruptly shut her mouth when his eyes turned an even darker shade of blue, insanity raging just below the surface. "SHUT UP!" he bellowed in rage. The gun he held in his right hand wavered unsteadily as he pointed it in Derek's direction. "You took her away from me…and you're going to pay for that!"

Derek closed his eyes, trying to prepare for the inevitable. He dimly heard Meredith and Mark scream, "NO!" But when the gun went off with a deafening bang, he felt no pain. But he did hear the sickening crack of a skull as it hit the floor. Hesitantly, he cracked his eyes open, afraid to look. What he saw next made his breath leave him in a explosive whoosh.

Meredith lay crumpled by his feet, blood blossoming across her chest.

_

* * *

You're in my arms,  
And all the world is calm,  
The music playing on for only two._

_  
So close together,  
And when I'm with you,  
So close to feeling alive. _

A life goes by,  
Romantic dreams will stop,  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew,  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you. 

_  
And now, forever I know,  
All that I wanted to hold you,  
So close… _

So close to reaching that famous happy end,  
Almost believing this was not pretend,  
Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come,  
So far, we are so close.

How could I face the faceless days,  
If I should lose you now?  
We're so close,  
To reaching that famous happy end. 

_  
And almost believing this was not pretend,  
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are,  
So close,  
So close._

_  
And still so far…_

-Jon McLaughlin, So Close

**

* * *

So sorry for the cliffhanger, but I felt that this was an appropriate place to end the chapter! Like it, love it, hate it? In the next chapter, we'll find out what happens to the lovable doctors of Seattle Grace Hospital. I forsee an update really soon, but please review (_it gives me inspiration_)!**


	5. You Are Loved

**Sypnopsis:**

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all… 

**A.N.: **Super thanks for the wonderful reviews, people! Here it is, the next chapter of _Look After You_.

P.S. You might want to have a few tissues ready…I say no more.

**

* * *

Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Calie O'Malley:** Dr. Stevens…what's going on with you and George?

-**Louise O'Malley: **Oh, Georgie! Don't just stand there; come and give your mother a big, warm hug!

-**Dr. Cristina Yang:** Bet you and McDreamy had naughty reunion sex last night. Oh, everybody knows that you guys hooked back up.

-**Dr. George O'Malley: **I was so mad at myself for cheating on my wife. But that's not even the hardest part. I…I think I'm falling for Izzie.

-**Louise O'Malley:** …A successful marriage isn't a one way street. If either one of you doesn't love the other enough, it's not going to work out.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang: **You're going to have a McBaby.

-**Dr. Callie O'Malley: **You slept with another woman's husband! How can you sleep at night, knowing you wrecked your best friend's marriage?!

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd:** Are you serious?! I'm going to be a father! Oh, my God!

-**Finn Dandridge:** You took her away from me…and you're going to pay for that!

_

* * *

_

It's been said that somewhere between life and death, there is a plane of existence, a dreamlike state of peacefulness in which there is no pain or suffering. In medical school, we're taught to encourage interaction between distraught family members and patients. But what happens when that patient is very near and dear to your heart? I, Meredith Grey, **am** that person. I sense the love and support from my good friends…my family. But all I can do right now is spend my days wandering through corridors of mist, lost in the reflections of my life. Derek. Cristina. George. Izzie. Alex. The Chief. Dr. Bailey. Mark. Callie. All of them are waging a tough battle to save me from the grip of death. As for me? I'm trying to fight, too…but what if it's too late?

Mark could only stare, frozen in shock, as the bullet slammed into Meredith's chest and she slumped lifelessly to the floor. He watched as Derek's eyes opened tentatively, widening in horror as he took in the sight of his girlfriend, lying in a growing pool of her own blood. He barely heard the anguished "Meredith!" that Derek screamed. Beside him, the Chief and Bailey were shouting out panicked orders. Mark numbly registered the flurry of action as the police hurriedly but efficiently restrained Finn, who was still screaming wild curses about killing Derek. 

He whipped around and saw Cristina standing next to him, white-faced and shaking. Giving her shoulder a tight squeeze, he turned his attention to the Chief, who was giving assignments. "Okay, Yang and Karev, both of you take one of your interns and scrub into surgery with me! Dr. Bailey, you're assisting. Stevens, page radiology and have them on standby! We need to run a scan of Meredith's head when she's stable enough. O'Malley…just help out in the pit until we page you." Turning to Mark, he whispered, "Sloan, keep an eye out on Derek. He's not going to take this well at all. Be there for him; I'm counting on you." Nodding silently, he watched as Meredith was wheeled away. By the time he turned back around, Derek was gone.

* * *

Cristina stared as cold water washed over her hands in the scrub room. She cleaned furiously, trying to channel her emotion away. After all, she needed to be a surgeon right now. She couldn't think about the fact that in a couple of minutes, she would be assisting in her best friend's surgery, fighting to pull her back from death's door. Just like the time Meredith had almost died from her near-drowning. Shuddering, Cristina glanced at her intern, whom she vaguely recalled was Lexie, quietly scrubbing in next to her. Meanwhile, Alex cleared his throat periodically. To any bystander, he looked calm and in control of the situation. But Cristina knew better; Alex's jaw was clenched tight, and his hands were shaking ever so slightly. One of their "family" was in that operating room, and none of them of would feel better until she was out of surgery and in recovery. 

Shutting off the water, Cristina motioned for her intern to follow her. Walking into the O.R., she let the nurse towel her hands dry and tie her mask. Slipping into a pair of sterile gloves, she took a deep breath and forced herself to avoid looking at Meredith's lax face. Looking back at the scrub room, she caught Alex's eyes, brimming with torture and unhappiness.

Next to her, Lexie's hands trembled uncontrollably. Cristina's head shot up when she heard a sob echo in the quiet room. She grabbed the intern's hands. "4, look at me! This is a good learning experience for you. You _can't_ lose it…not yet. Do I make myself clear?!" When the young woman nodded, she allowed herself a small smile. She was indeed the new Nazi. Her smile faded away when Lexie's spoke up in her soft voice. "I…I don't want to lose it. I really don't; I mean, I know that this will give me an edge on the other interns. None of them have ever scrubbed into surgery yet. But that's not why I'm crying." She looked at her resident, knowing that what she was about to say could very well get her kicked out of this surgery. "I can't do this, Dr. Yang. I think this woman…Dr. Grey is my half-sister." Cristina could only stare in open-mouthed shock.

"I'm sorry? Meredith is your _half-sister_?!" But then again, this shouldn't have been that big of a shock. When she had gotten her intern assignments less than a week ago, she _had_ seen the name Lexie Grey. At the time, Cristina had wondered about the surname. Was it just an eerie coincidence, or was one of her new interns related to her best friend? She had meant to mention it to Meredith, but the excitement and emotional strain of the past few days had driven the question completely out of her brain. Her mind whirling, she noticed that the Chief was scrubbing in. Taking Lexie's hand, she gave it a supportive squeeze. "Let me talk to the Chief. You know you can't scrub into a family member's surgery, no matter how distant you guys are."

Walking back into the now crowded scrub room with Lexie, Cristina cleared her throat. "Uh, Chief…we have a situation." When he looked at her questioningly, she expelled a breath of impatience and plunged on. "My intern has just informed me that she's Meredith's half sister."

The Chief's look of surprise lasted for only a second. "Okay, Yang. Scrub out and go down to the pit with your intern. I'll call in Dr. Wright." Opening her mouth to protest, she quickly shut her mouth when he fixed her with a stern look that left no room for argument. "She's your best friend, Yang…and this is her sister. You're a resident now. Your responsibilities lie with supervising your interns and teaching them. Now go and do that." Sighing in defeat, Cristina stripped out of her surgical gear. "Fine. Let's go, 4. We'll go work the pit with Bambi." When Lexie stood frozen, she raised her voice. "MOVE!" With that, they walked out of the scrub room, the younger woman trailing after her.

Stopping outside a supply room, she gently touched her intern's shoulder. "If you need to cry, do it here. More privacy." Those words semed to have an immediate effect on Lexie. The poor girl, trembling from pent-up emotions, swung the door open and ran in, turning the lock as the door closed behind her. Closing her eyes and struggling to keep her own tears from falling, Cristina sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she slowly sank to the floor, consumed with gripping terror for her best friend.

* * *

George stood in the hallway, still in shock at suddenly seeing one of his best friend's life in danger. He was snapped rudely out of his trance when Callie exited the elevator and walked up to him. "Hey-" he started to say, but the greeting died on his lips when he saw her face, dark with anger and what looked like hurt. His heart hammered crazily in his chest, wondering what else could possibly be wrong now. Taking his hand in a rough and unrelenting grip, Callie began dragging him towards the elevators. She spoke in terse phrases. "Home…_**now**_…or our marriage is over!" George could barely react, but he finally wrenched his hand away. "Ow, let go! I can't go home right now. Meredith is in O.R. 3 right now, fighting for her life. She's my family. I can't leave without knowing whether or not she'll be okay. Besides, I have to work the pit!" He yelped when Callie merely yanked his hand again and continued on her way. "Fine, I'll go home. I just need to-" He sighed when she pushed him into the elevator. "Okay! But you have a lot to explain when we get back to the Archfield." The rest of the way home was spent in tense silence.

* * *

Derek sat on the floor of the surgical conference room, his knees drawn to his chest. Trembling uncontrollably, his mind was seized with overhwelming terror that refused to disappate. _How did things get so horribly out of control? Meredith and I were just talking about the baby! I'm going to be a father in seven months!_ Gripping his hair, Derek felt himself breaking down. He was so wrapped up in his emotional torment that he didn't even hear the door open. 

Mark sighed as he stared at the man that he called his brother. He shivered involuntarily as he recalled the time when the Chief and Bailey had desperately attempted to revive Meredith from her near-drowning. He had been able to offer comfort that time with a simple squeeze of the arm. But glancing at Derek's crumpled form, sobs wracking his body in waves, Mark instinctively knew that this situation was _so_ different from last time. This time around, his best friend stood to lose more than just Meredith; the baby was also at risk now. Sitting down on the ground beside his best friend, he hesitated for only a brief second before reaching over and enveloping Derek in a supportive hug.

Mark felt the hot tears soaking through the thin fabric of his scrubs, but he didn't care. It was only when Derek continued to howl in agony that he realized that he was crying as well.

Whimpering, Derek desperately clutched Mark's shoulder. He continued to shake miserably, the fear coming in such strong waves that Derek felt like he was going to have a heart attack. At that moment, he unleashed a scream that unnerved even him. Derek was suddenly so consumed with anger at the unfairness of the situation that he released his fury on the only person in the room: Mark. "I should have protected her! She's having my baby, God damnit! And all I could do was stand there when that bastard pointed a gun at me! Why didn't I take the bullet for her? Why? WHY?! Why does this always happen to us! Just when everything's going well for us, there's another roadblock! I HATE THIS!!" Letting out a pain-filled cry, he reached past Mark and slammed his fist into the wall, barely wincing at the crack that echoed around the room.

Mark winced and blinked away his tears. Derek was so close to losing it that Mark knew he was going to have to be the one with the clear mind; he couldn't be bawling with Derek. _Get a grip on yourself, Sloan_! Gently pulling up Derek's lower jaw, he forced his best friend to look at him. "Derek." When he looked away, Mark continued in a firm voice. "_Look_ _at me_! Grey is going to be make it, and you two _will_ be the happy parents of a healthy baby in seven months. You can't give up hope!" Derek was shaking, tears streaming silently down his face. "Your girlfriend needs you now more than anything, and you need to stay strong for her, you got that?! I've known Meredith for a while now, and underneath all those layers of insecurities, I know she loves you to death. She's not ready to give up…and neither should you."

Mark hugged him tightly again, offering his unspoken support as Derek continued to sob.

* * *

George shoved the key card into the card reader, pushing open the door with unnecessary force. Barging her way into the room, Callie sat down on the sofa, anger raging just below the surface. She felt George's unrelenting gaze on her, but she continued to ignore him as she took off her shoes. 

George felt like pullng out his hair. This was going nowhere! After dragging him out of the hospital, Callie had refused to say a word to him. Overwhelming worry for Meredith caused him to blurt out his frustrations. "What do you want?! You said at the hospital that we _needed_ to talk. So talk! What did you want to say to me! What was so important that we couldn't talk at a more appropriate time?!" he shouted in exasperation.

Callie stalked over to him and grabbed him by the front of the jacket, nearly yanking him off his feet. Their faces almost touching each other, she snarled, "_This_ is about you breaking your vow to me! Remember what you said in Vegas, George? In sickness and in health! Tell me, did that thought occur to you when you were _screwing_ IZZIE STEVENS?!"

All the color drained from George's face. "What are you talking about?" he breathed, his heart suddenly pounding erratically and his throat dry. 

Callie shook her head in disgust. "I'm talking about the affair that you had with a woman you swore was only your best friend, you cheating bastard!" She watched as George turned red, clenching his fists. As she walked over to the desk with barely controlled anger, he started to rant. "What about you, huh?" he shot back. "You slept with Sloan and never told me about that! I forgave you for that…but the one time that I make a drunken mistake, you're on my ass about it?!" Taken back momentarily, she angrily yanked off her leather jacket as he continued. "I didn't tell you about Izzie because I wanted to stay true to you! I made a vow to you in that Las Vegas chapel, and I had no intention to break it for something that was a drunken mistake." He whispered softly, "I don't want to hurt you…"

Callie paused at the quiet revelation, but thay didn't stop her from ripping into George. It was too hard to control her anger now that he had provoked it. "The fact that Mark and I slept together for one night is neither here nor there! When we had that drunken sex, you and I weren't _**married**_. But you slept with Izzie _way_ after we became husband and wife, and what's worse, you hid it from me for so long! I had to find out by accident when I eavesdropped on you and Louise's conversation in that supply room! How much longer were you going to hide this from me? Forever?! I feel like _such _an idiot for not realizing the signs that you had cheated on me! I kept making excuses for you; I told myself that you were just stressed from everything!" She forced herself to stop, feeling the dangerous prickling of tears forming behind her eyes.

George ran a hand over his face. "Callie, can we please have this fight later? We're both tired, and I have to go back to the hospital. I _won't_ abandon Meredith right now. She's part of my family, and I have to be there for her."

Callie stared at George, the fight in her suddenly roaring up to a boil. "There you go again, George. If it's not Meredith, then its Izzie! I'm done with this, George O'Malley! I used to think that you were one of the greatest guys on this planet…I thought you would be the one I'd grow old with. But I can't trust you anymore!" Choking back tears, she forced herself to continue before she lost the nerve. "Get out of here; we're _**through**_!" Viciously throwing George's jacket at him, she stared with contempt while his eyes displayed a myriad of emotions: anger, hurt, shock, and finally, resignation. The silence that hung between them stretched out as wide as an ocean.

He nodded silently and walked out of the room. Callie waited until the door closed before she burst into tears, her heart shattering into a million pieces.

* * *

Chief Webber watched Dr. Theo Wright as they stood in the freezing cold O.R., carefully inspecting the damage that the bullet had done to Meredith. The cardiothoracic surgeon probed every inch with skilled eyes, mumbling observations to himself. "Okay, repaired the tear in her left artery. Good…collapsed lung is fixed now." 

Richard hated to admit it, but he found himself worried about having a new surgeon working on his favorite resident. _Stop it_, he thought to himself. Granted, Theo was a more than capable surgeon, boasting an excellent academic record, which included a Johns Hopkins undergraduate degree in premed and a Harvard medical degree. But still, he was no Burke. To the best of his knowledge, the world renowned surgeon was now hiding out in California, trying to pick up the pieces of his life in the aftermath of his failed engagement to Cristina. Forcing himself to concentrate on Theo's notes, he noticed that Miranda was clutching Meredith's limp hand.

The resident was crying silently, tears trickling down her face and onto the younger woman's hand. She spoke roughly, "Grey, I've seen you in this position too many times. It's getting kind of old. The bomb threat, a near-drowning…do you have penchant for danger? Come on, Meredith. You _have _to keep fighting. You're gonna be a _mother _soon. Do you know that's the most wonderful feeling that you'll ever experience?" She chuckled lightly. "It's even better than the you know what with McDreamy, or whatever it is you kids call him. My point is, life will only get better from this point on. So if you don't want to fight for me, at least fight for Derek. You know he lives for you, Grey. _Don't give __**up**_, you hear me?! Keep fighting, or I'll lecture your ear off when you wake up. So if you don't want to hear my voice first thing, show us that you still have the Grey fighting spirit. You've survived so much, and this isn't going to be thing to do you in. Fight, Meredith!"

The surgeon suddenly stopped talking when Theo cleared his throat. "Chief, I think she's stable enough to go up to radiology now."

Exhaling a shaky breath, Richard nodded and motioned to a nurse. "Page CT and tell them we're coming up now. Put a rush on the films. I want them 5 minutes after they're shot! We need brain scans to check for swelling or bleeding. Page Dr. Ko afterwards, and have her do a fetal examination. We need to keep monitoring the baby. Let's go!"

As Meredith's gurney was wheeled away, he peeled away his gloves – splattered with her bloood – and raised a shaky hand to his forehead. _Ellis, please give me the strength to see Meredith through this. Please…please don't let her have neurological damage, too. Derek can't handle this much_. Richard was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Theo slip quietly out of the room, leaving him alone with his fears for the woman he considered to be his daughter.

* * *

Mark quietly finished wrapping Derek's broken finger in a splint. His best friend had barely flinched while he washed away the blood gushing from his torn knuckle. Now, Derek sat on the examination table, trembling ever so often and continually balling his remaining hand into a fist. Mark cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Look, man. Why don't you lie down for a while? It's been a long day, and it might do you a world of good if you take a short nap…" 

Derek shook his head, stubborn as a mule. "_No_! Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is Meredith falling to the ground. She's carrying our baby, Mark. Our _**baby**_! Don't you understand?! I can't…I can't rest until I know her and the baby are going to be okay. It should have been me. It should have been me lying on that surgical table! The fact that she's not out of surgery is already bad news. Mark, you and I both know that. I'll never forgive myself if something happens to either one of them. I _can't_ forgive myself…"

Frustrated beyond words could say, Mark only sighed in defeat. The ensuing silence was broken when their pagers beeped simultaneously. "Meredith…" Derek breathed. Leaping off the bed, he raced for the door, desperate for news about the only woman he loved.

* * *

Chief Webber stood next to Theo, Miranda, Alex, and Mia, waiting patiently in the surgical family room for the rest of the concerned staff. Cristina was the first one to arrive, bursting her way into the room with Lexie and the rest of her interns, slightly out of breath. Her exotic features were twisted with panic, and she immediately bombarded them with questions. "What's wrong? Where's Meredith? Is she okay? What did you guys find in surgery?! What did her CT scan show? How's the baby?" When neither one of them answered her frantic inquiries, she crossed her arms and scowled in annoyance, finally plopping down into a chair and fiddling with her hands. In the next few minutes, Derek, Mark, Izzie, and George piled into the room. Derek was the first to speak up, his finger wrapped up in a splint that hadn't been there eight hours ago. "Chief, you can tell us about Meredith now. Everybody's here. Please…" His quiet, desperate plea hung in the air, and Richard swallowed, trying to find the words to make this bleak situation somewhat more hopeful. 

Mia spoke up, determined to bring _some_ good news. "I have done a thorough exam of the fetus, and the heartbeat is a little weaker than I'd like to see it, but there is no immediate danger to either the mother or the fetus." The collective sighs of relief quickly died down when they realized that the Chief's grim look had not eased. George tentatively raised his hand, his voice trembling. "Chief, what about Meredith? What's wrong?"

Richard rubbed a hand over his face, desperately trying to keep his composure. After all, he was the Chief. He wasn't supposed to lose it. He was the authority figure who kept a stiff upper lip even in catastrophic events. But then again, he wasn't supposed to be operating on the daughter of Ellis Grey.

"Well, we fixed all of her major injuries from the gunshot wound. Her lung collapsed, and there was a tear in the left artery, but we managed to repair those successfully. Barring that there are no additional complications, she should recover from that with no difficulty. But her CT scans show some mild swelling in the brain, no doubt caused by her falling to the ground after she was shot. We need to wait for the swelling to go down before we can determine if she suffered any other neurological damage. Meredith's in a coma right now due to the blood loss and cerebral contusion, and…and only time can tell when, or if, she'll wake up. It's all up to her and her fighting spirit now."

Furiously blinking back his tears, he motioned for the others to leave the room. When only Derek remained standing, too shocked to move, Richard walked up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I have faith in Meredith…" When Derek raised swollen eyes, which were naked with grief, he continued quietly. "You can stay as long as you want. God knows that she needs all the strength in the world to help her fight this."

_

* * *

Don't give up,  
It's just the weight of the world,  
When your heart's heavy,  
I…I, will lift it for you.  
Don't give up,  
Because you want to be heard,  
If silence keeps you,  
I…I, will break it for you. _

Everybody wants to be understood,  
Well, I can hear you.  


_Everybody wants to be loved,_

_Don't give up,  
Because you are loved… _

Don't give up,  
It's just the hurt that you hide,  
When you're lost inside,  
I…I'll be there to find you. 

_  
Don't give up,  
Because you want to burn bright,  
If darkness blinds you,  
I…I will shine to guide you. _

Everybody wants to be understood,  
Well I can hear you. 

_  
Everybody wants to be loved,  
Don't give up,  
Because you are loved…_

_  
You are loved… _

Don't give up,  
It's just the weight of the world,  
Don't give up. 

_  
Everyone needs to be loved,  
You are loved…_

-Josh Groban, You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

_

* * *

As always, review! Thank you_. 


	6. Your Faith In Me

****

Sypnopsis:

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

**A.N. First off, a big apology for the huge delay in updates, but school was posing quite a lot of problems for me. But don't worry, I'm back in action, and I wrote you guys a longer chapter to make up for it. Ah, I'm so ready to celebrate the upcoming month of April, because that's when Grey's comes back for 5 more episodes. Yahoo! Anyways, enjoy the next part. Hope you like it!**

**

* * *

****Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Richard Webber:** Sloan, keep an eye out on Derek. He's not going to take this well at all. Be there for him; I'm counting on you.

-**Dr. Lexie Grey: **I can't do this, Dr. Yang. I think this woman…Dr. Grey is my half-sister.

-**Dr. Richard Webber:** Yang. Scrub out and go down to the pit with your intern. You're a resident now. Your responsibilities lie with supervising your interns and teaching them. Now go and do that.

-**Dr. Cristina Yang: **If you need to cry, do it here. More privacy.

-**Dr. George O'Malley:** Meredith is in O.R. 3 right now, fighting for her life. She's my family. I can't leave without knowing whether or not she'll be okay.

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd: **Why does this always happen to us! Just when everything's going well for us, there's another roadblock! I HATE THIS!

-**Dr. Mark Sloan: **I know she loves you to death. She's not ready to give up…and neither should you.

-**Dr. George O'Malley:** I made a vow to you in that Las Vegas chapel, and I had no intention to break it for something that was a drunken mistake.

-**Dr. Callie O'Malley:** If it's not Meredith, then its Izzie! I'm done with this, George O'Malley! I can't trust you anymore! Get out of here; we're _**through**_!

-**Dr. Miranda Bailey:** Grey, I've seen you in this position too many times. You _have _to keep fighting. You've survived so much, and this isn't going to be thing to do you in. Fight, Meredith!

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd:** Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is Meredith falling to the ground. It should have been me lying on that surgical table! I'll never forgive myself if something happens to either one of them. I _can't_ forgive myself…

-**Dr. Richard Webber: **Meredith's in a coma right now due to the blood loss and brain injury, and…and only time can tell when, or if, she'll wake up. It's all up to her and her fighting spirit now… God knows that she needs all the strength in the world to help her fight this.

* * *

_As the famous Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "__If you lose hope, somehow you l__ose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that __helps you go on in spite of it all__." That's good advice…but its easier said than done. __Loss and fear are always constant allies in the war of life and death. But sometimes, __in the face of overwhelming odds, the power of love and trust can make the battle __just a little easier. Yet, that very faith can also change the lives of everybody __involved…and make or break them._

Cristina sat in the rigid and uncomfortable hospital chair, desperately holding onto Meredith's limp hand. To her, it felt like her tight grip would help keep her best friend from slipping into the beckoning chasm of death. But despite the worry that was stealing away sleep, food, and even her concentration, Cristina couldn't look Meredith in the face. Her alabastor pallor only accentuated her fragility and reminded Cristina of everything that she stood to lose if Meredith died. "NO!" she whispered harshly. She wouldn't go down this route again.

She _couldn't _lose the only person besides Burke who had made her realize that life wasn't only about surgeries. She couldn't bear to think about finding another person who could be her drinking buddy, dancing partner, and bitchiness ally. Most of all, she knew that she would be hard-pressed to find another human being who could understand and tolerate her competitive nature. All of their happy memories flashed through her mind. The first day of their internship. The first time they had truly started becoming friends. Her secret pregnancy. Their endless talks, where they had bitched late into the night about the stupidity of McDreamy and Burke. Meredith's near drowning. Her engagement. Most important of all, her best friend had been there for her in the aftermath of her failed wedding. Meredith had held her hand and broke down with her as Cristina had experienced the indescribable pain of liberation and loss.

_Standing in the near-empty apartment that she had shared with Burke just mere hours ago, I felt like I was living in a dream-like state. How could this have gone so horribly wrong? Less than an hour ago, the only thing that I had been concerned about was getting through the ceremony. Now my heart was shredded in pieces, and Burke was probably riding off into the sunset…without me. Feeling the telltale sign of tears, I stubbornly swallowed and forced the emotion down. Just then, I heard a click. __**Burke!**__ My heart thudded in anticipation, but it dissipated when I saw the concerned face of Meredith, walking into the apartment and obviously looking for Burke._

_I muttered disconcertingly, "He's gone." I almost laughed out loud at the words. They sounded so __**final**__. All of a sudden, I knew in my heart that the blunt words were true. I was never going to see the love of my life again. I looked up in time to catch Meredith's flustered expression. I was surprised to see a momentary flash of pain cross her face; hurt that didn't seem to be caused by my failed wedding. _

_Looking around the suddenly bare apartment. Meredith stammered, "I...I...I don't think he's gone. Uh, his stuff is here." _

_I shook my head. My voice cracked as I pointed out the missing pieces, "No. His trumpet was here. His entire Eugene Foote collection...vinyl's and CD's." I walked over to the bedroom door, desperately trying to choke down the hysteria. "His grandmother's picture was by the bed. His luckiest scrub cap was hanging on the door." I shook my head, staring at the window for a moment before turning around to face Meredith. "He's gone." I finally started to give in to the rising need to cry. "I'm...I'm free. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. DAMN IT!" All of a sudden, it felt like the room had no more air. My chest tightened painfully, and I clawed pathetically at the Burke family choker. "Oh, God! Take this off! Take this off! Take this off! PLEASE!" I heard her gently telling me to stay still. After Meredith's shaking hands finally released me from the tight contraption, I began pulling at my wedding dress, practically hypervenilating as I frantically tried to free myself. "I can't." I whimpered, my eyes begging her as she muttered something about getting scissors. "Help me, help me, help me!" As Meredith cut the back of the dress, the overpowering agony that was crushing me suddenly released itself. Wearing only my slip, I shakily stepped out of the wedding dress and hugged her to me, sobbing until there were no more tears left to cry. _

Cristina blinked, shaking herself out of her trance and hardly aware of the hot tears that were snaking their way down her face. She had never realized it before, but now she saw it: she had always taken Meredith for granted. Her best friend had always been someone to bitch to when things got rough, and Cristina was terrified about the possibility of losing her person. She brushed the tears off her face and squared her shoulders. She had to believe that God was nice to good people who dedicated their lives to saving another life. Cristina leaned down and akwardly hugged Meredith, mindful of the endless wires and tubes keeping her alive. "All you have to do is keep _fighting_. Just wake up so everything can be all right again. So my advice right now? Like I said a long time ago, get your ass out of bed…NOW!" Staring at her friend's motionless face, she sighed and walked out of the room, whispering a soft "I love you" before the door closed.

* * *

Ava stood in Meredith's kitchen, quietly cooking dinner as Alex sat at the kitchen table. She fixed her gaze on his quiet form, disheartened by his unwillingness to talk. She knew Alex had gone through hell while assisting in Meredith's surgery, and it had probably killed him to see one of his friends on the operating table. But Ava personally knew that not talking would only make things worse in the long run. After all, it had taken her running away and a near-fatal accident in order to make her realize that she had needed a divorce. She was worried about the effect that this whole situation was having on his career. She had no idea how he was doing at work, but she was already seeing his increasing restlessness and long periods of silence at home. She jerked when he whispered her name. "Ava…"

He was suddenly standing next to her, enveloping her in a gentle bear hug. "I'm so sorry, baby." She turned around and kissed him softly before turning her attention back to the spaghetti. "What for?" Ava held her breath and hoped he would release some of his pent-up emotion.

Alex sighed as he took a knife and started chopping up the Italian sausage. "For ignoring you, Ava. I know…I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately." He didn't even hear her reply before he found his mind wandering back to Meredith. Her comatose state cut a knife through his heart everytime he mustered enough courage to visit her, but these days, he didn't even have to energy to cover up the tears that fell angrily down his face. After his visit, Alex continued taking on an insane amount of cases with his interns, desperately trying to keep his mind off his friend. He found that working on charts and seeing patients to the point of exhaustion helped numb the pain a little, but it did nothing when it came time to go home. Dr. Bailey had already threatened him twice that she would inflict bodily harm if he didn't go home and sleep. _Sleep_, he thought disdainfully. _Like that even helps right now!_ When Alex did manage to close his eyes, all he saw was Meredith falling limply to the ground, and all he heard was Shepherd's scream of agony.

A sudden bolt of pain snapped him out of his trance. Alex blinked when he saw crimson blood leaking joyfully from the gaping wound on his finger. "SHIT!" he cursed. Blood. Alex's mind suddenly flashed back to the image of Meredith's body dropping to the floor, the red stain continuing to leak across her chest. Trembling, he brought his hands to his face, mindful of his smarting finger. Dimly, he heard Ava mutter something about the blood not stopping. For some reason, getting cut with the knife felt akin to his friend's gunshot wound, and Alex suddenly found himself struggling to keep the onslaught of tears at bay.

Stroking his cheek, Ava cupped his face in her hands. "Just let it out, baby." Whimpering, Alex buried his face in her shoulder and started to cry. He felt like his heart was about to burst from all of the emotion. His breath coming in spastic gasps, he sobbed, "She's my dark and twisty counterpart. We almost never fight, and Meredith and I are always there for each other. But for the second time in less than a year, I'm watching her tetering on the edge of death, and there's not a _damn _thing that I can do to prevent it! Ava, I'm a doctor. I made a vow to save people, and I should be able to do that for my friend. Meredith is three months pregnant with her and Derek's first baby. She should be cherishing this time, but no, she's lying in a coma on that hospital bed! We don't know if she's going to be okay! And _all_ I can do is watch!" He trailed off, breathless and still trembling from his emotional agony.

Alex winced in pain as the knife wound continued to throb, and Ava stared at him in quiet contemplation. "Alex...you're right. You _can't_ do anything for Meredith. It's all up to her, but she made it last time despite overwhelming odds. What's different this time around? In fact, she has more reasons to keep her fighting." Putting pressure on his wound and hearing the hiss of pain that accompanied her action, shecontinued softly, "Have faith in her, babe. That's what you can do. Come home after your shift ends, and don't take on so many cases that Dr. Bailey has to call here to make sure that you actually come home and sleep at least eight hours. Well, not that you're actually sleeping at all, but she doesn't need to know that. You just have to keep living your normal lifestyle. Meredith will wake up before you know it, and she's going to be fine. Just you wait…"

With that, she turned off the stove, grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the door, pausing to collect their coats. "Meanwhile, living a normal lifestyle means going to the hospital. You got yourself good with that knife." Seeing Alex's mouth open quickly to protest, she smiled and held a finger to his lips. "Now that's the Alex Karev I fell in love with. Always one to have an argument at the tip of his tongue."

Alex snorted. "Smartass. I was just going to say that I don't want no moronic intern stitching up my finger!" For the the first time in a month, he found himself with the ability to smile. Ava was right. He needed to believe that Meredith's bright future was an added incentive for her to wake up.

* * *

Izzie sat in Meredith's room, absently scribbling notes onto a patient's chart. To be brutally honest, she had no idea what she was writing. She knew that was extremely unprofessional, but she just couldn't bring herself to care. After all, Meredith's coma had shattered the tranquility of Seattle Grace, and everybody working there was feeling the effects. And over the last month, Izzie had found herself with no one to confide in. Alex was busy developing a budding relationship with Ava, and he spent the precious little free time that he had with her. Izzie couldn't deny that her and Cristina had grown closer, but it was probably due to the fact that the Asian surgeon was feeling lost without her best friend in her life. And as for George? Ever since his and Callie's highly publicized divorce, _her_ best friend was trying his damndest to avoid her. Even though Izzie was technically George's boss now, she didn't want to force him to talk. After all, he _did_ have every right to be mad at her…their adultery had devastated what could possibly have been a lasting marriage.

She knew that George felt guilty for subjecting Callie to the endless stares and finger-pointing from the nursing staff. But the fact that Callie was Chief Resident only made things that much worse for Izzie. In ths past month, she felt like she had truly experienced 'hell on Earth.' Not only was she being assigned to crappy, non-surgical cases, but she was sure that her other interns hated her guts. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the sound of soft footsteps that paused outside. Turning around, she saw George, staring at her as he stood in the doorway. Izzie's heart fell when he regarded her with cold blue eyes, turned on his heel, and left. Deciding that enough was enough, she hurriedly shoved herself out of the chair and ran outside. Catching up to George, she grabbed his arm and started dragging him in the direction of the supply closet. "Shut up and don't talk," she told him firmly.

"Let GO of me! I'm sick of you women dragging me around! I'm not a dog that's going to follow you wherever you want, okay! Let go!!" Violently pulling away from Izzie, he finally looked up at her, anger and hurt blazing in his eyes. He shook his head in disbelief when she whispered, "We need to work this out, George. I _need_ you. I have to get my best friend back." Snarling, he finally exploded. "Okay, you want to do this?! All right, let's have it out in the supply closet." Clenching his jaw, he whirled around and proceeded to pull her into the tight space.

Slamming the door shut behind him, he leaned against a rack and folded his arms across his chest. "Allow me to go first." When Izzie opened her mouth to protest, he silenced her with a withering glare. "You made me do this, Iz. I was in a great marriage. Sure, I was having doubts, and I knew that I was started to have feelings for you. And I can even overlook your confession of love. My best friend, a pretty girl, was having romantic thoughts about me. Believe me, I'm honestly flattered. But we're not supposed to _act_ on those feelings when you're married! But you went ahead and told Callie about _everything_ that happened between us. EVERYTHING! Why?!"

Now it was Izzie's turn to lose her temper. "What was I supposed to do?! She _cornered_ me in the elevator. YOU tell me what to do! Lie? Hug her?! Tell her everything was gonna be okay? No! You can call me an adulterous bitch all you want, but I'm no liar! If there's anything I learned from my mother, it's never lie, because you never know when it will backfire on you." Seeing that George wanted to interrupt her, she snapped harshly, "I'm not done yet!" Continuing in a softer voice, she looked her best friend in the eyes. "George, you're the one who made the decision to start lying to Callie, not me. And I'm so sorry for whatever troubles I may have caused you and Callie, but I didn't break up your marriage. _You_ did. I just want you to realize that, because it's killing me to see my best friend hate me so much. Meredith is lying on that hospital bed, and nobody knows when she's going to wake up. Cristina isn't acting like her usual self. Alex is spending almost every waking minute either at the hospital or with Ava. And you haven't been talking to me. Please, George! We need to support each other through this difficult time…just like we used to. Can't we just go back to the simpler times? I mean, I know I would have never gotten over Denny if you hadn't been there for me. I need that right now. Ifeel like I'm completely alone in the world right now."

George let out a frustrated scream and slammed his fist into the rack. Breathing heavily, he muttered, "Just leave me alone for now, Iz. I just…I need to be alone right now. I need to think."

Izzie nodded and walked out of the room, feeling slightly more hopeful that things could be all right with her and George again.

* * *

Meredith walked aimlessly, her feet disappearing in the swirling mist that constituted for ground. She had no idea where she was, but if this was the journey between life and death, it sucked! Wasn't somebody supposed to guide her to the lush, green fields of happiness? Suddenly, her heart twinged as she thought about Derek. She was pregnant with their baby! The prospect of it scared the bejesus out of her, but at the same time, it felt _right_. After all, he had proven time and time again that he was her true soulmate, her knight in shining whatever. She didn't quite want to leave Earth yet, but hey, whoever said she had a say in all of this? She jumped when a voice replied, "But you _do_." Turning around, she stared in shock at the solid form of Denny Duquette, Izzie's dead fiance and love of her life. She ran over to him. "Denny! Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why are you always in my out-of-body experiences?"

Denny just sighed. "You have a chance to go back, Meredith. You can go back to Derek and live out your life with him. It's not your time yet." Meredith's heart soared. "I want to see him again," she told him anxiously. "I'm finally realizing that he's the one for me. He's my knight in shining whatever, and I can't live without him. I'm going back to him! I can, right?" She looked at Denny, hope shining in her eyes. He nodded, gazing at her with a look of pity. Meredith waited apprehensively as he whispered, "It's going to be a long and painful recovery ahead, Meredith…I just hope you're ready for it." Walking away, Denny turned around one more time and smiled sadly. "Say hello to Izzie for me. Tell her I'm always looking out for her, so no matter how bad things get, let her know that she has a full-time guardian to protect her." He paused and stared intensely at her, almost as if he was trying to send her a message. "Promise me, Meredith. Whenever things get rough, just remember that the angels are watching." Eyes sparkling, Denny disappeared into the mists ahead, while Meredith started wandering the other way, desperate to be wrapped in Derek's strong embrace again.

* * *

Mark stood by the nurse's station, peering worriedly into Meredith's room every so often. The past month had slowly but surely taken a toll on Derek, and the man had become a shadow of his former self. Gone were the million-watt smiles and mop of gleaming hair, replaced by haunted eyes and a permanent frown that stayed etched on his face. Feeling helpless, the Chief had decided to ban Derek from any medical duties until Meredith woke up, knowing that the man would probably prefer to stay by her side anyway. Mark ran a hand through his hair, feeling drained. Sighing, he had just closed his eyes when a soft voice broke into his thoughts. "Mark?"

His eyes flew open in shock. "Addison?!" He laughed and wrapped her in a giant bear hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still working in California."

Her face immediately fell. "I'm still working at the same place." She brushed her hand across his face. "I'm sorry to say that I'm not here for a happier occasion. Richard finally got a hold of me last night and told me what had happened. I just came to visit for a couple of days and see how you guys are doing."

Mark shook his head in confusion. "Why did it take the Chief so long to get in contact with you? Meredith got shot a month ago…" He watched as Addison's face suddenly turned pink. She shifted her weight, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "I've been living at my boyfriend Pete's house for a while. I…I'm sorry, Mark." The apology hung in the air, and Mark cleared his throat. Forcing a smile, he hugged Addison again. "Hey, that's okay. Anyways, do you want to peek in on Derek? Maybe you can bring him out of his funk."

He began walking to Meredith's room, rambling aimlessly in order to fill the uncomfortable silence. "God knows he won't listen to any of us here. The Chief forced him to take a vacation, so he's been sitting in her room almost every day." He trailed off, forcing back the moisture that had creeped into his eyes. Addison stopped outside the hospital room and gently squeezed his shoulder. She peered past him into the dark room. As her eyes adjusted to the sharp contrast, she felt her heart break when she noticed that Derek's head was resting on the edge of the pillow, his lips brushing against Meredith's lifeless face. Taking a deep breath, she walked further into the room.

_

* * *

_

Derek. Derek,

_**wake up**. _"DEREK!"

Derek's eyes snapped open immediately, and in his hurry to sit up straight, he accidentally banged his elbow hard into the metal rail of Meredith' bed. Gripping the sore spot and groaning, Derek rubbed sleep out of his eyes. He stared blurrily at the tall and slender figure standing before him. "Addison?!" he croaked, the word scratching against his misused vocal cords. He blinked disbelievingly before she bent down and hugged him tightly. Derek breathed in the familiar vanilla scent of her hair and sighed miserably. "Thanks for coming…" he whsipered.

Addison pulled away and scrutinized him with a practiced eye. She frowned worriedly when she took in his haggard appearance, dark circles, and tear stains. Brushing her hand across his cheek, she tilted his head up so that his downcast eyes were forced to focus on her. "How are you holding up, Derek?" She watched as his eyes clouded over in agony, but he still managed to force out a smile. "I'm hanging in there. But _I'm_ not the one you guys should be worried about." Addison silenced him with a stern look. "Derek, you look like crap. Do you think Meredith would want to wake up and find you like this?" She was about to continue lecturing him, but the machines in the room started to beep a different rhythm. They looked at each other quickly and moved over to the heart monitor, studying the improving numbers. Mark joined them, looking hopeful. Just then, they heard a quiet moan.

"Mark, go page everybody! This is good news. Meredith's waking up!" Derek's eyes were shining again, and he excitedly grabbed Meredith's hand. He whispered lovingly, "Baby, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand!" His heart fell when she didn't respond. He tried again, raising his voice. "Mere, I _know_ you can hear me, so just squeeze my hand and let me know you're okay." He was rewarded a few seconds later when she weakly squeezed his finger. However, Meredith continued to moan quietly, and it continued until Cristina and the others burst into the room, their faces flushed red with anticipation. The Chief quickly took out his penlight and checked her response to light. "Normal pupil dilation," he announced to the relieved crowd of friends. But everything went to hell when Meredith's tired blue eyes opened. She took one look at Derek, who was gently holding her hand, and shrank away in terror. His joy quickly faded into devastation when she whispered fearfully, "Who are you?!"

_

* * *

_

When I see you there I'm so aware,  
Of how lucky I am, baby,  
'Cause I don't deserve, I don't come close,  
To understanding, baby…

_  
The logic of your kind of trust,  
It amazes me.  
That someone like you would care enough,  
To just believe…_

Your faith in me,  
It pulls me through,  
When there's nothing around,  
To hold on to…

_  
When I fall, when I'm weak,  
All the strength that I need is your faith, baby._

_  
Your faith in me…_

Even when I fall, I get along,  
'Cause our love is real, baby,  
It's like salvation to my soul,  
Cause that's how it feels, baby.

_  
It's a sacred thing that I keep close,  
To carry on…  
And I know that I will be all right,  
And you'll heal it all…_

Your faith in me,  
It pulls me through,  
When there's nothing around,  
To hold on to…

_  
When I fall, when I'm weak,  
All the strength that I need is your faith, baby._

_  
Your faith in me…_

_  
You make me feel I could walk on water,  
And nothing comes against me,  
Safe within your arms!_

Your faith in me,  
It pulls me through,  
When there's nothing around,  
To hold on to…

_  
When I fall, when I'm weak,  
All the strength that I need is your faith, baby._

_  
Your faith in me…_

_  
All I need is your faith in me,  
Ohh, all I need is you faith in me...  
Ohh, yeah, yeah._

_  
All I need, all I need, baby,  
Is your faith,  
Your faith in me…_

-Jessica Simpson, Your Faith In Me

**

* * *

**

A.N. Good? Bad? Hate me for leaving you guys with a cliffie again? Please leave me a review. Mazel tov!


	7. No Air

**Sypnopsis:**

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

* * *

**A.N. First off, a huge thank you and a pat on the back for this story's reviewers thus far: ****mcdreamyslover****, ****merderdreamy5****, ****gaforever****, ****ChristineGrey****, ****xjossiex****, ****musicforlife****, ****MissJay18****, ****MD2gether4ever****! Your reviews are what inspire me to continue writing.. I found myself losing hope for **_**Grey's Anatomy**_**, but now that the show has crawled its way back from a disastrous season, I have renewed energy and faith to finish this story with an eye-popping, knock off your socks conclusion, too! So without further ado, I present to you Chaper 7 of **_**Look After You**_**, ****No Air** **(this chapter was quite possibly the hardest one to write, for some reason). Enjoy. **

* * *

**Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Cristina Yang:** All you have to do is keep _fighting_…so my advice right now? Like I said a long time ago, get your ass out of bed. I love you.

-**Dr. Alex Karev: **I made a vow to save people, and I should be able to do that for my friend.

-**Dr. Izzie Stevens:** We need to work this out, George. I _need_ you. I have to get my best friend back.

-**Dr. George O'Malley: **I just…I need to be alone right now. I need to think.

-**Dr. Meredith Grey: **He's my knight in shining whatever, and I can't live without him.

-**Denny Duquette:** Promise me, Meredith. Whenever things get rough, just remember that the angels are watching.

-**Dr. Mark Sloan: **God knows he won't listen to any of us here. The Chief forced him to take a vacation, so he's been sitting in her room almost every day.

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd:** Mark, go page everybody! This is good news. Meredith's waking up!

-**Dr. Meredith Grey:** Who are you?!

* * *

_It's been said that blood is the essence of life. But sometimes, we forget that there's another life-force sustaining mankind and, well, all of existence. The oxygen that flows through us serves as a constant companion throughout out lifetimes, helping us weather the ups and downs of life. In other words, air is loyalty at its utmost. It's there from the second we enter this world until the moment that we take our very last breath._

Alex paced impatiently, glancing petulantly at the double doors that seperated all of them from Meredith. His fingers automatically curled into a fist for the millionth time that day, his hand just itching to release the maelstrom of anger that was threatening to crush his chest. And buried in the recesses of his overwhelming frustration was the gripping, familiar trepidation that seemed to penetrate deep into his body. It was almost like his brain was trying to send him a subconscious message: _This isn't over. Not by a long shot_. Feeling his blood pressure rise again, Alex clenched his teeth. Looking at the rest of his distraught friends made him remember that he wasn't the only one suffering.

Cristina was stock still, eyes glistening with unshed tears and a trembling hand covering her mouth. Meanwhile, George leaned against the door, muffled sobs emanating from him every so often. And as for Izzie? She was doing what she did best, trying to serenade their somber group with her trademark optimism, but Alex didn't miss the wavering in her voice. Even Izzie, the woman who had always remained hopeful no matter what odds she was up against, didn't believe that there was going to be a happy ending for Meredith yet. Just then, a strangled sob interrupted Izzie's speech. Staring at his ex-girlfriend in surprise, he quickly realized that she hadn't made that sound. Even George stopped crying to look for the culprit. Alex glanced at Cristina and felt a pang in his heart.

The normally steadfast Asian doctor was now trembling as a few tears slipped out and broke her stony façade. He watched Izzie let out a heavy sigh as she walked over to Cristina. Without a word, she enveloped her fellow surgeon in a gentle hug. Just then, Alex noticed the Chief and another doctor walking out of Meredith's room, their faces grim. With his heart suddenly beating double time, Alex barely noticed Cristina breaking the hug. The woman quickly ran her hand across her face, trying to wipe away all traces of what she considered weakness. They huddled together, holding hands, every one of them drawing strength from each other, but painfully aware that they were missing a crucial member of their family.

* * *

Chief Richard Webber found himself looking away from his finest intern and second-year residents when they pinned him with imploring looks of distress. He sighed and turned to the second best neurosurgeon in his hospital, Dr. Nick Gladys. "Nick…do you think you could brief Dr. Grey's friends? I think I'm too emotionally involved with this case, and I still can't get perspective…" He trailed off, pinching at the bridge of his nose to keep the tears at bay. He swallowed nervously; the lack of sleep and incredible stress was causing him to experience alcoholic cravings, and he knew Adele would have his head on a silver platter if he lost his sobriety now. He noticed the other doctor's look of surprise, but the younger man knew better than to question his authority. "Yes, sir. I can give them the diagnosis if you want. Do you want to come with me, Chief Webber, or do you wish to go back to your office?" The young doctor continued after an awkward silence. "I mean no disrespect, sir. You just look like you could use some peace and quiet…"

Richard took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "No, what I _need_ is for Meredith Grey to be okay. But that's not up to me, right?" He laughed bitterly, then shook his head. "I'm the Chief of Surgery. Every patient that comes through surgery is my personal responsibility, and Meredith is especially important to me. I promised…I made a promise to a very special friend that I would take care of her. Since I can't do that, the least I can do is be there for her friends if they need my support. Come on, let's go, Dr. Gladys."

Pushing past the double doors, Nick found himself reluctantly meeting the four pairs of anxious eyes that searched for hope, pleaded for a sign that they _would_ see the light at the end of the tunnel. He was painfully aware of how important this woman was. After all, everybody working at Seattle Grace Hospital knew about the often tumultuous but passionate relationship of Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey … this was his boss' girlfriend and soon-to-be mother. Nick cursed under his breath. "Doctors Karev, Yang, Stevens, and O'Malley, thank you for waiting while we tested the severity of Dr. Grey's amnesia. We-"

"Cut the crap!" Karev cut in edgily. "What's wrong with Meredith? We're all doctors, so let's stop sugarcoating things."

Richard gave Alex a warning look. "Dr. Karev, it'll be wise of you to not talk that way to an attending. What Dr. Gladys was saying before you interrupted him was that Meredith has been displaying symptoms of what neurosurgeons call systemized amnesia. In layman's terms, it basically means…"

Cristina interrupted this time, quietly mumbling, "Her brain has shut out all memories of a relationship with Dr. Shepherd. Isn't that right, Dr. Webber?"

"You are correct, Yang. Does she remember who she is and what she does for a living? Yes. She remembers being friends with you four, too. She also knows that both her mother and stepmother are dead. So the preliminary guesswork as to why she only forgot Derek? It could be due to the fact that he was standing right next to her when this … this accident occurred. Her brain, in order to protect itself, has locked away all sounds and people associated with this trauma." Richard sighed and stopped talking, motioning for Dr. Gladys to continue. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to will away the tell-tale signs of a huge migraine.

Nick continued quietly, "Dr. Shepherd isn't the only one that she doesn't remember. Through extensive questioning, we've also determined that she has no recollection of Mr. Finn Dandridge. That's all we know as of right now. This type of amnesia doesn't occur very frequently with brain injury patients, but like any other type of amnesia, all we can hope for is that she regains her memories. There's a long recovery ahead for Dr. Grey, and she needs all the support she can get."

George nodded, let out one last audible sniff, and then mumbled something about having to do sutures. Izzie started to follow him, but she skidded to a stop and gave Cristina another hug. She looked at Alex directly and whispered, "We _have_ to get through this." She shook her head, and then gave a bitter laugh. "No, we _will_ get through this. I know we will. We're going to survive this, because God knows we've been through more crap than should be legally allowed." Pausing for just a second, Alex noticed that her eyes clouded over, akin to being possessed. Looking worriedly at Izzie, she finally spoke again, but her words sent a chill down his spine. "Whenever things get rough, just remember that the angels are watching."

He watched in confusion as she walked away, murmuring, "I miss you too, Denny." Shaking his head, Alex glanced at his watch. His shift was over, so he may as well go home. Nodding at Nick and the Chief, he patted Cristina's shoulder, who was caught up in her own miserable world. When a single tear slipped out, he hesitated, uncomfortable with the sudden display of emotion from the tough surgeon. "Hang in there, Yang…" Walking away, he felt his heart break a little. When would they ever catch a break?

* * *

Mark perched on the edge of the cluttered desk in Derek's office, studying his best friend with an experienced eye. After Meredith's terrified and abrupt return to consciousness, Derek had rushed out of her room, telling anybody who would listen that he had to finish charts. Addison had looked to him for help, her eyes begging him to follow the distraught man and make sure he was okay. In a sad way, personal tragedies were the only times that Derek allowed Mark to get close to him, which, in essence, was helping to heal the rift between them. His beeping pager jolted him back to reality, and Mark quickly scanned it, noticing Derek's suddenly tense posture. He sighed, "It's the Chief. Maybe we should go…" He trailed off, watching Derek slowly slump back into the couch and his eyes harden.

"Derek…" Mark prompted gently.

"_No_!" Typing furiously on his laptop, Derek did everything he could to ignore Mark's piercing gaze. He blurted, "I _am_ a neurosurgeon. I don't need another doctor to tell me what's wrong with Meredith…I saw the signs myself! She's got systemized amnesia!" He paused to swipe at a stray tear that had escaped. "Yup, I'm a brain surgeon, and yet, I can't do a damn thing to help my girlfriend, the soon-to-be mother of my baby." Derek stopped talking when his voice hitched, dangerously close to tears. His throat burned with a frightening intensity, and he felt that annoying prickle of moisture.

Mark sighed, trying to reign in his flaring temper. "What's the matter with you?!" he growled. "Where's the hard ass, confident Derek Shepherd? Where's my best friend?! Ever since Meredith was admitted, you've been a complete stranger. And I understand what you're feeling. You're my brother, and I hurt when you hurt, too. But she's awake now, man! You guys have a second chance to make things work, and that's more than a lot of people get. We're both doctors, and we've both seen our fair share of tragedy. But this…this _isn't_ a tragedy. This is just another setback before you guys get happily ever after. Fight for her, Shep! You owe her this much. You're _always_ talking about being a believer in happy endings; so prove it."

Mark missed Derek's look of anger, which turned his normally warm blue eyes into a stormy black; he barely managed to duck the fist that Derek swung at him with an animalistic scream. Before either of them realized it, they were throwing punches at each other, their occasional grunts adding to the cacophony of noise in the room as chairs tipped over and a picture frame crashed to the floor. As suddenly as it started, the fight stopped. Derek's lip was bleeding, while Mark nursed his badly bruised knuckles. Both of them were breathing heavily, and Derek looked at the picture that lay in a sparkling array of broken glass; a surprisingly glowing Meredith, one hand thrown around his shoulder while the other held a shot glass. Derek raised tortured eyes and met Mark's determined ones. "I'm _always_ a believer," he snarled.

Walking out the door, he paused. "By the way, I stopped hating your guts a month ago. Maybe some good has come out of all of this." And then he was gone, leaving Mark alone and dumbfounded in the office, struggling to process what Derek's words meant: forgiveness.

* * *

Cristina sat quietly on an unused gurney in their group's basement hangout, listening to the comfortable sound of rain smashing against the window. Even nature seemed to understand her tumultuous feelings right now. She couldn't quite describe the agony searing through her heart right now. She was infinitely relieved that Meredith hadn't forgotten her or the rest of their friends. But seeing the naked look of anguish in Shepherd's eyes had almost unraveled her, and that scared her more than anything. Right from the start, she had always maintained a stiff upper lip, and in a strange way, she had prided herself on earning the surgical nurses' nickname of "Ice Queen." After all, watching her beloved father bleed to death at such an early age had prompted her to avoid pain at all costs; in her eight-year old mindset, that had meant avoiding closeness to anybody. But her reaction today, waiting fearfully for Meredith's prognosis, had just put a huge dent in her reputation.

After the start of their surgical internship, Meredith Grey and Preston Burke had clawed and fought their way into her heart, healing old wounds and forcing her to face issues that had been locked away in her memory. But Burke's sudden departure from her life had ripped a jagged hole in a heart that was still healing. However, some good had come from her tragedy, because Meredith and Derek had managed to overcome their issues and stay together. To be truthful, Cristina couldn't have been happier for her best friend. God knew how Meredith deserved some happiness in her life, and the unexpected surprise of a baby had started to make her hopeful that 'dark and twisty' people could, in fact, achieve happily ever after. But that was before Finn Dandridge and his gun-wielding plans had destroyed that. Cristina's vow to be less cynical had collapsed along with Meredith, and she simply didn't have the energy to revive it. _Serves the son-of-a-bitch right that Meredith has forgotten about him_, she seethed.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when a voice spoke in the darkness. "A penny for your thoughts?" She whirled around and relaxed when she saw Alex Karev standing there, no visible sign of his trademark smirk. She was surprised when she saw nothing but compassion in his eyes … and a hint of pain? Patting the empty gurney next to her, she smiled slightly as he accepted her silent invitation to sit and talk. For the next few minutes, the only sound that could be heard in the room was their quiet breathing, a comforting regularity despite the increasing pandemonium in their lives. Alex finally broke the silence with a hushed whisper, so soft that she had to strain to catch what he was saying. "My mum almost died because of my abusive bastard of a father." His quiet confession stunned her. In all the months that they had worked together, Alex and Cristina had rarely exchanged more than a few words, never mind sharing intimate secrets. Their relationship had only thrived because of their overly competitive streaks. Most of the time, Cristina had preferred to think of Alex as a loudmouth, good-for-nothing frat boy, while he had told her more than once that she was a Beverly Hill princess who knew nothing of hardship. But when Alex moved into Meredith's house, their relationship had grown to where they shared a weekly breakfast outing and an occasional gossip fest.

As she sat there, unsure of what to say, he continued his narrative in a shaking voice. "I woke up one night to horrific screaming. She was yelling at him to stop hitting her, and I kept hearing a thud against the wall. I was too scared to do anything until I heard my dad leave the house. The doctors later told me that she had suffered severe brain injury, and that there was no chance of her ever waking up from her coma. But she proved them wrong, and she woke up. Due to her traumatic experience, she suffered from systematic amnesia, too. My mom had no idea who had done this to her, and to this day, she still hasn't regained any memory of the bastard. I was _so_ relieved when she forgot him. To me, it meant starting over and having some semblance of a normal childhood."

Alex paused, forcing back the tears that had sprung to his eyes. "And now, all of this is happening again…so I know how you feel. You feel like 'dark and twisty' people never get the good things in life. You're thinking that there is no such thing as tranquility and that crap about good things happening to good people. But you're _wrong_, Yang! This is just God's way of telling us to stay strong for each other. Like my mom used to say, believe in miracles. We all prayed for Meredith to wake up, and she has! Now we just need to help her remember Derek again. Because once again, it all comes down to _us_. We're her family – her real family – and we're going to help her get through this! Besides, we're all long overdue for any kind of happy occasion. Getting her to recognize Shepherd and her giving birth to the baby … that would be a perfect way to ring in the New Year, don't you think?" He glanced at Cristina, watching her unchanging sullen expression and wondering if his words had had any kind of effect on her obviously foul mood.

Just as he gave up and closed his eyes in exhaustion, Cristina murmured, "I know." He looked up in surprise when she gave him a quick hug. Alex smiled and gently squeezed her shoulder. A thought suddenly crossed his mind, and a devilish grin spread across his face. "Hey, remember when I touched your boobies?!" The comment was so random and lighthearted that Cristina couldn't help but snort. Before long, the basement was filled with their laughter as they recalled memories of their intern year and life with the sloppy but congenial Meredith Grey.

* * *

**Two months later…**

Derek stood outside Meredith's room, forcing back tears. His hope that her amnesia was just a temporary setback had quickly morphed into a desperate, dark animal that seized his chest every night, rendering him sleepless. It didn't help matters that his fatigued brain did nothing but pelt him with a relentless barrage of his memories with Meredith. He had brought her to their secret hideaway, took her on a ferry boat ride, treated her to a fancy dinner at her favorite restaurant … anything that would help jog her memory of their past relationship. Granted, he was coming on a little too strongly for a "new relationship," as Meredith put it, but he missed having her in his life so much that he couldn't breathe sometimes. Although she was starting to develop feelings for him again, she told him repeatedly that this was a relationship that should proceed slowly. Today had been the worst day ever. When he had walked into her room, Cristina and the others had left immediately, knowing that he wanted to spend time with her. But Meredith, in a foul mood, had screamed at him to leave her alone, calling him an overbearing bastard who was acting like her father.

The words had stung deeply, but he had managed a smile and a soft, "I'll see you later" before he had walked out of her room. He had stayed right outside her door for over an hour now, but he just couldn't bring himself to move. _How much longer is this going to last?_ He bit down on a cry of surprise when a familiar hand stroked his cheek, knowing who it was even before he opened his eyes. "Addison…you're back!" he breathed as the tears spilled uncontrollably from his eyes. She held him as he sobbed, deciding to hold off her good news for a more appropriate time. Derek mumbled, "I can't take this much longer. Nothing is working. She can't remember me, and I can't breathe. I'm suffocating, ADDIE!" he yelled. Taking a shuddering breath, he managed a weak smile. "You must think that I'm becoming a pussy. Maybe I should change my name to Derektina," he joked in a half-hearted attempt to make her laugh while he swiped at his eyes. Without warning, the tears started again, and he groaned. "Mark says I'm becoming more hormonal than a pregnant woman. If that's true, I _seriously_ need to stop."

Addison gripped his face in her hands. "Derek," she whispered harshly. "You're a neurosurgeon … hell, the _head_ of neuro. You, of all people, should know that amnesia isn't something that can be rushed. There's no surgical alternative, and you just have to be patient. Meredith's going to remember you eventually, but there are going to be days when that doesn't seem possible. So keep your chin up, OK?" She fixed Derek with a piercing look, trying to drive home her point. "But if she really doesn't remember you, and she's content to start a new relationship with you, I think you'd rather have that than lose any chance for happily ever after with her, right?" Addison frowned when Derek gave her a weak nod. "Derek Christopher Shepherd, I command you to put on your trademark million-watt smile!" Noticing his lips rise halfway in a feeble grin, she nodded. "It's getting there…Derektina!" She giggled and ducked away just in time to avoid his playful swat. His laughter sounded genuine, and a sparkle was slowly returning to his eyes, but Addison knew that Derek would never be truly content until the day that Meredith regained her memories of him. Studying his thinned stature, she prayed that day would come soon.

* * *

**Three weeks later…**

Mark stood at the OR board, not sure of what he was looking for. When he spotted Derek walking toward him, Mark's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Derek looked insanely happy, happier than he had seen him in months, and there was a definite bounce in his step. In addition, Derek was holding a tiny bottle of eye drops, which made his mouth twist. "So…" he leered at his best friend. "What did you and Mere do? The horizontal mambo?!"

Derek smirked and squeezed a drop of liquid into each eye. "Call it the horizontal _whatever_! All I know is that I got some last night, and I have to say, I wasn't out of practice!" He laughed when Mark wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, dude! I didn't need to know that. New rule: what you do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom!"

Derek laughed, his eyes staying focused on reading the OR board. Mark quietly sipped his coffee for a moment, but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "So how's Meredith?" His best friend paused slightly, still studying the board like his life depended on it. "She recalls bits and pieces. Small things like the way I like my coffee, my favorite cereal, that I live in a trailer…and oh, she remembered Doc, but then she mumbled that he had been put to sleep and said something strange, too. She kept saying that seeing Doc so happy made her feel better, and then she talked about how Denny Duquette misses Izzie a lot. She's improving, albeit slowly, but I can't wait until she remembers everything." He laughed and shook his head. "But she's biting at the bit to come back to work. The Chief thought it was best for her to take a few more weeks off. I told her I agreed with him, and she kicked me out!"

Mark choked on his sip of coffee, gamely swallowing the scalding liquid before he burst out laughing. "She kicked _**you**_ out of the house?!" Guffawing loudly, he slapped Derek's back. "Hell yeah, Mere's back!" Derek shook his head as the two friends walked away from the board and headed towards the operating rooms, their laughter still echoing down the hall.

* * *

Izzie stood at the Admit desk, scribbling post-op notes in her patient's chart. Her head shot up when she heard an annoyingly cheerful whistle coming from down the hall, and she was surprised when she saw that it was Alex. "Okay, Izzie is wondering where Alex was last night, because he disappeared right after dinner. And why is Alex so uncharacteristically happy? Awesome surgery? You got some action? Come on, tell all…" she demanded as he leaned around her, grabbed a chart, warbled a cheerful greeting at a shocked Olivia, and kissed her cheek. "Alex will tell Izzie why he's so cheerful. Alex's mum finally came down from Ohio to visit her grownup, ridiculously handsome, incredibly talented son, and they're going to have lunch today! Now why wouldn't Alex be sitting on the top of the world?"

Izzie grinned. "Oh, that's so great! How long has it been since you've seen her?" Alex eyes took on a faraway look as he pondered the question. "Med school graduation. My bastard of a father was also there, asking me for more money so he can get high. I told him to go to hell and he punched me." Ignoring Izzie's shocked look, he smiled and kissed her cheek again. "Anyways, I'm gonna treat my mom to the best restaurants that this city has to offer. And then I'm taking a day off tomorrow to go the Space Needle and other places with her."

Just then, the piercing wail of their two beepers cut in, interrupting the conversation. Alex took his pager off his scrub pants, grinning in excitement when he noticed the number. "Yes! ER! I hope it's something big!" They raced down the stairs and practically crashed into Cristina and George, who were standing right outside the stairway doors. A huge crowd of hospital personnel were clumped into a huddle, and Alex couldn't see a damn thing. "What gives, Bambi?" he whispered to George. He shrugged as Cristina pushed her way through the crowd, ignoring the various whispered curses and grumbling. "Oh, holy crap!" Alex heard Cristina whisper. "Yang, what's going on?!" he hissed.

When he got no reply, he sighed in frustration and began to make his own way through the crowd. What he saw next made his breath catch in his throat. Suddenly unable to breathe, he gripped Cristina's arm as Izzie and George joined them. His mother was in the clutches of his incensed father, her normally rosy complexion a pasty alabaster. Judging from the hospital gown the man wore, the ER staff had admitted him. But what was even more frightening to Alex than his father being a patient in this hospital was the fact that Patrick Karev held a gun to his mother's head … and the safety had been flipped off.

* * *

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air…_

_If I should die before I wake,  
It's 'cause you took my breath away,  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air,  
Ohh…_

_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave,  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete,  
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand._

_But how do you expect me,  
To live alone with just me?  
'Cause my world revolves around you,  
It's so hard for me to breathe._

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air!  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air,  
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there,  
There's no air, no air…_

_Got me out here in the water so deep,  
Tell me how you gonna be without me,  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe,  
There's no air, no air._

_No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air!_

_I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew,  
Right off the ground to float to you,  
There's no gravity to hold me down for real._

_But somehow I'm still alive inside,  
You took my breath, but I survived,  
I don't know how, but I don't even care!_

_So how do you expect me,  
To live alone with just me?  
'Cause my world revolves around you,  
It's so hard for me to breathe._

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air!  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air,  
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there,  
There's no air, no air!_

_Got me out here in the water so deep,  
Tell me how you gonna be without me,  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe,  
There's no air, no air._

_No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air._

_It's no air, no air._

_Ohhh, baby!  
Oooh…it's no air, no air,  
Hey…no air,  
Ooohhh!_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air!  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air,  
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there,  
There's no air, no air!_

_Got me out here in the water so deep,  
Tell me how you gonna be without me,  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe,  
There's no air, no air._

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air!  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air,  
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there,  
There's no air, no air!_

_Got me out here in the water so deep,  
Tell me how you gonna be without me,  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe,  
It's no air, no air._

_No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air,  
No air, air._

-Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown, No Air

**A.N. Wow, this is the longest chapter…18 pages on my word processor. **_**Seriously**_**! Ah, I've revived my creative muse, so worry not about a long wait between updates! I'm already in the process of writing the next chapter, and I guarantee that we're going to see a different side of Alex Karev. Love this chapter/hate it? Press that sweet lavender button and let me know. By the way, how would you guys react to a Alextina pairing (Alex/Cristina)? Put in your two cents:)!**


	8. To Be With You

**Synopsis:**

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

**A.N. Hmm, I never realized that I misspelled synopsis for the first seven chapters^.^…shucks! Hello all! First things first: a sincere apology for dropping off the face of this Earth ever since my last update:)! I got a nice big dose of what is known as real life kicking me in the you know what. An intensive summer course in operations management, a family medical crisis, university drama, and projects all conspired to screw me over…but as they say, "w_hat doesn't break you makes you stronger," right? But fear not; this chapter was always playing around in the back of my mind, and believe me, Alex's part in this chapter was originally much smaller. But my wonderful online pal/motivator (_overth3moon…thanks, Meredith;), she convinced me that I'm truly as dark and twisty as our title character, at least in terms of fanfiction writing. I've decided to take Alex for a very rough ride; after all, I've always excelled in dramatic writing/angst (as my last chapter proved it, I can't write comedy worth crap). Lastly, I must stress that the medical research for this chapter may be the most inaccurate out of all the chapters (so I apologize for that). In honor of seeing the long-awaited softer side of Alex on the show (and _finally_ getting my hands on the wonderfully melodic debut album of American Idol alum David Archuleta), here is the overdue next chapter of _Look After You_, titled "To Be With You". A HUGE thank you, once again, for standing by patiently for this; I hope I didn't scare anybody off with this freaking long author's note. FYI, this chapter is emotional…I wrote it with a wad of tissues^.^. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Richard Webber:** Every patient that comes through surgery is my personal responsibility, and Meredith is especially important to me. I promised…I made a promise to a very special friend that I would take care of her. Since I can't do that, the least I can do is be there for her friends if they need my support.

-**Dr. Nick Gladys: **This type of amnesia doesn't occur very frequently with brain injury patients, but like any other type of amnesia, all we can hope for is that she regains her memories. There's a long recovery ahead for Dr. Grey, and she needs all the support she can get."

-**Dr. Izzie Stevens:** "Whenever things get rough, just remember that the angels are watching."

-**Dr. Mark Sloan: **You guys have a second chance to make things work, and that's more than a lot of people get. We're both doctors, and we've both seen our fair share of tragedy. But this…this _isn't_ a tragedy.

**Dr. Mark Sloan: **You owe her this much. You're _always_ talking about being a believer in happy endings; so prove it.

-**Dr. Alex Karev: **My mum almost died because of my abusive bastard of a father… We're her family – her real family – and we're going to help her get through this!

-**Dr. Derek Shepherd:** She can't remember me, and I can't breathe. I'm suffocating, ADDIE!

-**Dr. Alex Karev: **Alex will tell Izzie why he's so cheerful. Alex's mum finally came down from Ohio to visit her grownup, ridiculously handsome, incredibly talented son, and they're going to have lunch today! Now why wouldn't Alex be sitting on the top of the world?

-**Dr. Cristina Yang:** Oh, holy crap!

* * *

_Renowned Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel once said, "…__just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings." Since birth, we're taught to have bravery and strength in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, when a crisis does turn our world upside down, we tend to scatter like a pack of wolves. In other words, when given the choice to run away or fight, our primal instinct is flight. But every so often, we manage to pluck our courage from deep within ourselves, and, well…fight._

* * *

Izzie watched Alex's jaw tighten, his face a remarkable shade of alabaster. The hands that had been shaking with excitement only moments ago were now trembling for a totally different reason. Her eyes met with Dr. Bailey's, who was motioning frantically at her. Confused, Izzie slumped down a little, careful to not make any sudden movements. "_What_?" she hissed at her old resident.

Bailey shook her head and barely managed to staunch her sarcastic reply. Keeping her eyes firmly locked on the unstable Patrick Karev, she spoke quickly. "Stevens, you're the closest to the ER nurses' station. Make your way there…DISCREETLY…and tell them to call the cops. Let them know this is a hostage situation, and we need them here _now_. Go quickly…" She almost sighed in relief as Stevens slowly backed away from the crowd and disappeared from sight. Turning her attention to a shell-shocked Olivia, she gently nudged the young nurse. "Olivia, _listen to me_." Nodding encouragingly, she almost smiled as the nurse looked at her. "Honey, the Chief is still up in surgery. He's in OR 2; get up there, and make sure he stays away from this floor. We can't risk having anybody else come in here, because it might trigger this man into doing something crazy. I don't care if you have to tie the Chief down to an OR table, or whatever, but stop him from leaving the surgical floor. Got it?" When Olivia nodded, Bailey patted her arm. "Okay, go!"

As the younger woman scurried away, Patrick suddenly started raging, tears dripping down his cheeks. "You ba..bastards, get away from here! I just want to talk to my son; he's a doctor here!" He glanced around him, eyes wild with insanity. "What are you all doing?! Alex…ALEX DANIEL KAREV! Come out here! Where are you? Too afraid to talk to your old man?"

Alex winced, but then his resolve tightened. His mother was at risk every minute that she was in his sadistic father's hands, and he would be damned if he let her suffer for another minute. Shrugging off his lab coat, where he let it fall to floor, and ignoring Bailey's hoarse and terrified "KAREV!," he pushed past his shocked colleagues to stand in front of the bastard. Cold brown eyes steadily met insane, calculating ones.

With a deep breath, Alex dug out his prescription pad from the front pocket of his scrub shirt and waved it in front of Patrick. "So I'm here…I'm here now. I have what you want. You want drugs? Right here, I can write you a script. You want money to buy more guns or crap like that? You've got it. I'll take you to the bank and withdraw my whole damn savings account. But you let Mom go. NOW! Or no deal. What do you say, Patrick?! You've always been a smart man…let Mom go, and you'll walk out of here a happy man. Hurt her in any way, and I can tell you right now that you're just going to be pissed off and mad as hell. What's it going to be?"

Patrick smirked, "So you want to sacrifice yourself in order for the bitch to be safe?! Ha..fine. You know, _son_, you've become the man I raised you to be! I should be proud of you. But I also see that you're still that sniveling, whiny idiot. Useless! Take her!" Patrick, still snarling, slowly began to release his ex-wife as Alex made his way to his father. Just then, shouts were heard from the emergency entrance, and a megaphone-enhanced voice was heard. "ATTENTION INSIDE – THIS IS THE SEATTLE POLICE. RELEASE THE HOSTAGE PEACEFULLY, AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT." After that proclamation, all hell broke loose; Patrick Karev officially crossed the line into insanity.

With fear gripping his heart, Alex quickly reached his mother and shoved her in the direction of Bailey. He felt one hand tightly gripping his throat and another holding the gun to his head just as the police burst in. Aware of the danger he was in, Alex's breath caught in his throat, making it even harder to breathe. _At least Mom's okay_, he reminded himself. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax and remain calm. He barely heard the police chief order his dad to drop the gun and not do anything stupid. It only served to further anger Patrick, and with an incensed scream, he began dragging his hostage backwards towards the ambulance bay doors. Choking from a lack of air, Alex struggled to keep his body responsive.

As they made their way out to the ambulance bay, Alex felt his heart stop. A line of steadily aimed guns filled his vision, and in a twisted sense, it felt as though he was facing the firing squad. He found his distressed mind wandering, and he started seeing memories of his good times with Izzie, Meredith, Cristina, and George. And then, he was bombarded with images of Ava, her beautiful face glowing. At that moment, Alex made a promise to himself: if he survived this, he would propose to her. Life was too short to be wasting time getting to know each other. His next conscious feeling was an explosion of pain in his chest, and then his world went black.

* * *

Bailey watched helplessly as her former intern stumbled out the sliding doors, his face turning even whiter than it had been. Izzie skidded back into the room, her face red as she tried to regain her breath. Quickly scanning the room, the blonde realized that something was amiss. "Where's Alex?!" she demanded. Bailey didn't need to answer her, since Patrick Karev conveniently stood in front of the sliding doors, allowing them to hear snitches of conversation as the doors continued to swish open every so often. Shouts of "LET GO OF THE HOSTAGE!" and "PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!" mingled with Patrick's threats that he would kill Alex. Suddenly, three gunshots rang out in the quiet air, and the two Karev men fell to the ground, motionless.

"NO!! ALEX!" Izzie screamed as "all clear!" was heard. Desperately pushing past the motionless crowd, she rushed towards the ambulance bay, with George, Cristina, and Bailey hot on her heels. She skidded to a stop, her heart stopping in fear. Alex was lying facedown on the pavement, blood spreading rapidly from the gaping bullet wound in his back. For one terrifying moment, she thought he was dead. With a shaking hand, she placed her fingers on his carotid artery. _Please, oh…please Alex! You have to be okay!_

Breathing a sigh of relief when she felt his weak pulse, she checked his breathing, while Bailey quickly turned him around. They all gasped in alarm when they saw Alex's chest, which also sported a hole. "Somebody get a gurney!" Izzie shouted, knowing time was of the essence. When the gurney stopped in front of the two doctors, Cristina leaned down to help. "Okay, moving on one, two, THREE!" Lifting together, they managed to keep the pressure on Alex's gunshot wounds. "This way…Trauma Two!" the ER chief resident motioned as he waved urgently at his staff. Once they were in the trauma room, Bailey started shouting out orders. "Okay, start a central line; I want x-ray in here now! Push an amp of epi!" Examining the gunshot wound, she hissed. "It looks like a through and through, but we need x-ray to confirm that." She barked at a nurse, "What are his vitals?!"

The nurse glanced quickly. "89% SpO2, BP's 100/60, pulse is ..." Just then, the monitors started their high-pitched wail. Bailey looked up in alarm. "V-Fib, start compressions! Charge the paddles to 360!" Quickly rubbing the electrolyte paste onto the paddles, she quickly placed them on Alex's sternum. "CLEAR!" she shouted. As the shrieking alarms continued, Bailey motioned to the nurse. "Charge again!" The nurse nodded and quickly pressed the charge button on the defib monitor; when she heard the beep of the machine, Bailey placed the paddles on her former intern's chest again. "CLEAR!" Alex's heart still remained in V-Fib. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Cristina. "Yang, push in 2 milligrams of intracardiac epi!" The Asian surgeon nodded, and placing two fingers on the approximate location, she plunged the needle into Alex's body. The medical personnel in the room uttered a collective sigh of relief as the heart monitor began to emit a steady beep again.

Bailey motioned at the x-ray tech. "You…get in here. Shoot those films, please." When the tech was done, he nodded at her. "I can get these to you in fifteen." Bailey shook her head. "No, I can't have that! We need to get him up to surgery ASAP. You've got five minutes." Shaking his head, the x-ray tech left the room, mumbling a sarcastic comment under his breath. Bailey looked up, studying Alex's weak vital signs. "Stevens, call CT. We're bringing him down there as soon as x-ray gets back to us." The younger woman nodded as she picked up the phone and dialed to the department.

Pacing the trauma room, she stepped back and let the ER team continue stabilizing Alex. Her thoughts drifted away, but when a knock sounded on the trauma room door, Bailey's head snapped up. Taking the films from the x-ray tech's hand, she gave him a curt nod and hurried over to the light board, slapping the films onto the device to study them. She barely heard Cristina's muttered, "Oh, DAMN! Did the cops do this?!" All of a sudden, Bailey felt like she couldn't breathe. With her hands shaking, she reached over and picked up the phone. She dialed the extension for OR 2, where she knew the Chief was still there.

When a nurse picked up the other line, Bailey didn't even waste time with a greeting. "Get me the Chief; tell him it's an emergency." Pacing impatiently, she finally heard her boss' pissed off voice. "Out with it, Bailey!" he roared. "What the hell's going on downstairs?! First, Nurse Olivia comes up here to tell me that there's a situation developing, and that I'm not allowed to leave this OR. Now you're telling me that this is an emergency! I'm in the middle of a complicated surgery, and I _don't_ have time to play games. Now you tell me, and you tell me right _NOW_, what's going on?!"

Bailey flinched, not prepared for the sudden onslaught of noise to her eardrums, but she quickly steeled herself. "It's Karev, Chief. He was taken hostage by his father, and the cops came to his rescue, but not before he was shot. We just got his films back, and it's too soon to tell, but it looks like it was an accidental shot. We're looking at a through and through…bullet entered through his chest and exited out his back, with a possible C5/6 fracture. We're taking him up to CT right now, but we need you to find a replacement for your surgery. We're going to need you when we get Karev into an OR."

* * *

Exactly one hour later, Alex was in the operating room, fighting for his life as Bailey and the Chief tried their best to repair the damage. Meanwhile, his 'family' stood outside in the hallway. Derek studied the former interns, seeing their haggard looks of exhaustion. Izzie was once again clasping her hands, a murmured prayer escaping her lips every few minutes, while George stood next to her, absentmindedly playing with her messy ponytail. Cristina was staring into space, lost in her own world of misery. Suddenly, Derek realized that somebody was missing from the vigil: Meredith.

Clearing his throat, he quietly addressed the somber group. "Um, I should go and tell Meredith. She'll want to be here with you guys." Cristina nodded gratefully, knowing that she would be able to gain comfort from her person. "I'll page you if anything comes up," she told him with a small smile. Watching as Derek walked away, she closed her eyes and said her own prayer for her friend.

* * *

Completely unaware of the drama unfolding on the surgical floor, Meredith was humming happily as she sat in front of a computer on the hospital's OB/GYN floor, doing research and wishing that the Chief would allow her to do _anything_ surgical. She was bored to tears, craving some kind of action. Her stomach suddenly growled, and the baby kicked, reminding her that she had skipped out on breakfast.

Just then, Derek stood in the doorway, gracing her with a grin; however, she noticed that his eyes weren't sparkling like they usually did. Shoving her thoughts out of her mind, Meredith smiled shyly as she looked up at him. "Aw, impeccable timing, Dr. Shepherd!" She stood up and leaned against the doorway, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Dr. Grey is hungry because she skipped breakfast … how about a lunch date? And then some time in the on-call room?"

Derek sighed and took her hand, kissing it before he started playing with her fingers. "Mere … I don't how to tell you this. Honey, maybe you should sit down for this."

Watching her smile fade away, Derek cupped Meredith's face and caught her gaze. "Karev got a surprise visit from his crackpot dad, and he was taken hostage. The cops saved him, but he's been shot. He's in the OR right now, and the Chief and Bailey are in there, trying to repair the damage. I just thought you might want to be there…" He trailed off, studying his girlfriend carefully. Her look of panic and concern for Alex's situation had turned into a faraway look. She seemed distracted, and Derek wasn't sure if she was even listening to him anymore. Her tiny hands had become clenched, the knuckles turning white.

_I sat on the porch of Derek's trailer, trying to fight away the bitter physical and mental cold that was invading my body. Taking a deep breath, I listened to his melodic voice. _

"_One night, I parked my car, I unlock my front door, go inside my house, and something 's different. Nothing's different, everything's the same, but yet, still, something's different. And I stand there for a while. And then I know. See, there are moments for me, you know, usually when I'm in the OR, when I just know what's gonna happen next. So I go upstairs. As I'm walking down the hall, I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm gonna see when I go into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know … just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just gonna see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm gonna see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend. It's just so pedestrian, common and dirty, and cruel. Mostly just cruel. I left, came out here…_" _Derek trailed off._

_I spoke up, suddenly feeling exhausted, and not because of my long shift at the hospital. "And you met me," I stated coldly. "And I met you," Derek affirmed. Deciding that I had had enough, I stood up, but my curiosity got the better of me. I __**had**__ to know. Turning around, I uttered, "Well, what was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?"_

_Derek's posture visibly relaxed, and a thoughtful expression crossed his face. "You were like a breath of fresh air. It was like I was drowning, and you saved me. That's all I know."_

_I stared at him, desperately wanting to tell him that I loved him, but I couldn't do that. Not just yet. "It's not enough." With that, I got into the car and left, reminding myself that he already had a wife, and I would be no dirty mistress._

_Entering the scrub room, I noticed that Derek was already running his hands under the water. When he glanced at me but went back to scrubbing out, I walked right up to him, painfully aware that I was breaking the rules of personal space. "I lied. I'm not … out __of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in, it's humiliating, because here I am begging…" _

_He interrupted me, his eyes begging for what looked like forgiveness. "Meredith, just…just…"_

"_Shut up," I said breathlessly. "You say Meredith, and I yell, remember?" When he mumbled 'yeah', I continued. "Okay, here it is. Your choice? It's simple." At this point, I was forcing back tears, struggling to keep my voice even. "Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek … I love you … in a really, really big … pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window … unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me."_

Meredith gasped, her mind snapping back to the present. And with that painful jolt back to reality, she felt the unmistakable prick of tears behind her eyes. Derek was staring at her with his doleful but concerned eyes. "Mere, don't scare me like this. What's going on? Are you okay?!"

Feeling the tears start to pour out, she leaned into his arms and started to sob uncontrollably. "Oh, my God! I remember … I _remember_." Seeing his look of confusion, she forced herself to stop trembling for a few moments. "I remember us; I remember you calling me a 'breath of fresh air.' I remember the scrub room, when I told you to 'pick me, choose me, love me.' How could I have ever forgotten you?" Crying even harder now, she continued as he started to caress her face. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Derek…" Now that both of them were crying, there was a lot less talking and a lot more kissing. "I'm _so_ sorry!" Meredith kept stammering, feeling her head start to ache from endless weeping. Derek put his finger to her lips, silencing her. "All that matters is that you remember now. Everything's going to be okay…" he whispered, tenderly wiping the tears off her face.

When she finally managed to regain her composure, Derek gently took her hand. "Come on, let's be with your friends. Alex needs your support." Steering Meredith in the direction of the elevators, he reveled in having his girlfriend truly back, but as they arrived on the surgical floor, he felt the smile sliding off his face when he realized that everything would be okay only if Karev survived this obstacle. Muttering a quick prayer under his breath, he led Meredith over to the door of the OR, allowing himself a small smile as she announced her full recovery to her friends. Seeing the smiling faces, Derek wondered if Meredith regaining her memory was a sign that Alex would be all right.

* * *

Nick walked out of OR 3, yawning and stretching out his sore muscles after his 6-hour operation. His patient, a 10 year-old boy, had suffered a brain aneurysm. Nick had managed to surgically clip the aneurysm, but the process had been long and dangerous, with the patient crashing once. Handing the patient's chart over to the charge nurse, he made his way towards OR 1 to check on Alex Karev.

The surgical resident had gotten on his nerves, not to mention his face, when they had first met. But during the past few weeks, he and Karev had managed to build a mutual respect for each other after sharing a stubborn patient that had almost died on the surgical table. After hours of working together as a team, they had gone out for beers at Joe's, and ever since then, he had developed a liking for the sometimes crass resident.

He had just walked up to Derek and nodded at him when the door of the OR slammed open, and out walked the Chief and Dr. Bailey, both looking exhausted. "How is he?!" Izzie demanded, immediately pouncing on her superiors. The Chief shook his head, "Not right here. Mrs. Karev is waiting in the family room; she deserves to know first." With that, the group followed their boss to the family room. Seeing Alex's mother, sitting in the chair with her hands cradling her face, broke all of their hearts. As Izzie walked up to her and gave her a gentle hug, the Chief cleared his throat. "Um, Mrs. Karev. I'm Dr. Richard Webber, Chief of Surgery … and this is Dr. Miranda Bailey, fifth-year resident. We operated on your son."

Mrs. Karev exhaled shakily, clutching Izzie's hand with a tight grip. "Dr. Webber, how is Alexander? Please tell me he's going to be okay. He's the only family I have left..."

Richard shook his head. "Mrs. Karev, you can't blame yourself. He loves you very much, and he would have been angry with himself if he didn't save you. And we came here to tell you that Alex is out of surgery right now, and he's stable. We were able to repair the damage; he had what's known as a C5/6 spinal fracture, but it was a through and through, meaning that the bullet exited his body. Dr. Bailey and I removed the fragments, but it remains to be seen if he suffered any lasting damage. But we're cautiously optimistic; your son is strong, and he has youth on his side."

Motioning to Izzie, he nodded at his resident's mother. "Dr. Stevens can take you to see him. He's still in recovery right now, but stay with him as long as you like. I'll make sure you aren't disturbed." Watching as they left the room, he turned his attention to the rest of his staff. "Shepherd and Gladys, can you clear your schedules for a post-op neurological exam on Karev when he wakes up?" When they agreed, Richard rubbed his eyes. "I'm going home as soon as I pick up my files."

Studying his exhausted colleagues, he sighed. "Everybody go and get some rest. All of you to go home now, and don't come back until tomorrow!" Richard ordered sternly. Walking out of the room with Bailey, they walked in silence until she heaved a sigh. "When are we going to catch a break? First, it was Meredith. Now, it's Alex lying on that hospital bed. Who's next …" she whispered ominously. Richard glanced at her worriedly; squeezing his resident's shoulder, he pointed to his watch. "Go home early today, Bailey. Give Tuck a hug for me."

Derek stood up in the waiting room, walking over to his fellow neurosurgeon. "Hey Nick, can you give Yang a lift back home? I've got to bring Meredith and Izzie back, and then I'm probably going to have to come here with Alex's girlfriend. She deserves to know about this." Sighing in relief when he nodded, Derek continued, "Do you know where Preston Burke's apartment is?" Nick smiled. "Of course I know. He and I were pretty good friends before you came here from New York. We've shared quite a lot of beers over at his place. I remember. Don't worry; I'll get her home safe and sound. Have fun with being a chauffeur," he chuckled.

Laughing, Derek took Meredith's hand and walked towards the recovery room to collect Izzie. Shaking his head, Nick walked up to a motionless Cristina. Gently shaking her shoulder, he reeled back when her head snapped up, nearing socking him in the jaw. Staring at him in surprise, she mumbled, "I'm sorry, Dr. Gladys. I'm just tired." Nick smiled gently. "Well, you found the right person. I've been appointed with the job of bring you home." Pulling her up, he kidded, "Let's go, soldier." Ignoring Cristina's glare, they walked out to his car in compatible silence. When she got into the passenger side of the car and immediately closed her eyes after buckling her seat belt. Sighing, he started the car and drove towards Burke's apartment, turning down the volume so that the music played softly in the background.

When he arrived outside the building, he whispered, "Cristina, we're here." When she didn't stir, Nick found himself studying her beautiful face. It was lined with misery, which was a far cry from the glowing face that had greeting him in several of his surgeries. The woman was a talented surgeon, and she had shown an extraordinary amount of aptitude in both neurosurgery and cardiothoracics, but it was clear what field she favored. He had fallen in love with her feisty and competitive nature from the first day that he had met her, but when she had started dating Burke, he had bowed out. But now that she was single again, he had found himself thinking of her more and more. Acting on impulse, he leaned over and brushed a gentle kiss on her rosy lips.

Stirring, Cristina opened her eyes to find Nick hovering over her. Blinking in confusion, she pushed his face away and sat up straighter in the passenger seat. "What … what happened?" She stared at him warily when his lips twitched into a smile. "You fell asleep; I was driving you back from the hospital." His words brought the day's events back to the forefront of her mind, and a sudden wave of emotion hit her. Inhaling sharply, she tried desperately to push the tears away. Cristina felt Nick's hands on her shoulders, pulling her towards him.

She struggled half-heartedly as he leaned down and whispered fiercely in her ear, "Stop fighting me. Stop fighting _yourself_. You're not superwoman, and even if you were, you have to give in to your emotions sometimes. Cristina, you're holding up too much inside, and take it from me, the only way to get rid of that feeling of drowning is to let go! Release all that pain and resentment, and you'll feel a lot better. I promise…" He trailed off as Cristina leaned into him; instantly, he felt his shirt grow damp as she shook with barely controlled sobs. He sighed and rubbed her back in soothing circles, occasionally running his hand through her unkempt hair. He didn't even notice how much time had passed when she pulled away from him, her face streaked with tears. Before he could process it, she was kissing him with fervor. Letting go of common sense and deciding that they could discuss the implications later, Nick responded hungrily, showering her with gentle kisses.

_I've been alone so many nights,  
And I've been waitin' for the stars to fall.  
I keep holdin' out for what I don't know,  
To be with you … just to be with you._

_So here I am staring at the moon tonight,  
Wondering how you look in this light.  
Maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too,  
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do…_

_And I can imagine two worlds spinnin' apart,  
Come together eventually.._

_And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right,  
I'll be at the end of my restless road.  
But this journey, it was worth the fight,  
To be with you, just to be..._

_Holding you for the very first time, never letting go.  
What I wouldn't give to feel that way...  
_

_Oh...  
Oh, to be with you..._

_Oh … and I can imagine two worlds spinnin' apart,  
Come together eventually!_

_And when you're standin' here in front of me,  
That's when I know that God does exist,  
'Cause He will have answered every single prayer,  
To be with you, just to be with you, yeah._

_  
You...._

-David Archuleta (featuring Kara DioGuardi), To Be With You

* * *

Ava slowly walked into Alex's hospital room, turning to look back at Derek, who was standing by the doorway. When he gave her a reassuring nod, she sat down on the chair next to his bed, gently picking up Alex's limp hand. "Hey, baby … I started to get a little nervous when you didn't call me to come meet you and your Mom for lunch. I thought you guys wanted some catch up time." Ava quickly swiped a tear off her face. "I had no idea that you were fighting for your life, but you better wake up, and soon! Your mom didn't come all the way to Seattle to see me … heck, she doesn't even know who I am. That's why you've got to open up those beautiful eyes of yours and introduce us. Besides, who else is going to wake me up with a kiss every morning? Who else is going to cook dinner with me every night and make me feel like a queen? Alex, you're the only one for me. I told you a long time ago that you gave me a name when I had nothing else in this world; you allowed me to have an identity. No one can replace you, and I know that you love me so much, you wouldn't dare give up. So wake up! Wake up, because I've consulted the Karev dictionary before, and it said that no man is allowed to make his queen cry…"

Derek walked further into the room, gently placing his hand on her shoulder. "Ava, we should leave. He needs rest, but you can come back here tomorrow, bright and early. I promise, we'll be up at the crack of dawn, and you'll be here with Alex as soon as visiting hours start." Nodding, Ava wiped the remaining tears off her face and followed Derek. When they were halfway to the door, she heard a groan and then a soft "Ava…" She froze in her tracks, telling herself that the weak voice had been a figment of her imagination. But beside her, Derek had also paused. Turning around, she ran back to Alex's bedside, and what greeted her eyes made her gasp in surprise. His half-hooded eyes drooped in exhaustion, and his infamous smirk was barely there, but to her, Alex looked as beautiful as he usually did. Reaching out with his arms, he gingerly hugged her to him, looking over Ava's shoulder at Derek's relieved face. The attending's eyes were sparkling, and his million-dollar smile was visible in the dim room. "Glad to have you back, Karev…"

He nodded, hugging Ava tighter to him. _Yup, it's certainly good to be back_. Burying his face into her freshly shampooed hair, he allowed himself a smile. _And things are finally about to get better_, he thought as he shared a tender kiss with his relieved girlfriend.

* * *

**I hope you all liked it; God knows Alex deserves some semblance of a healthy relationship! I didn't have the heart to give him a life-threatening injury that would damage him even more; therefore, I just put him through the wringer for a while^.^! Hehe, I'm cruel. By the way, I had always imagined that Cristina would eventually hook up with Dr. Theo Wright (the dude who made an appearance earlier on in the first chapter of this story), but the dear, dear Dr. Nick Gladys just seems so much sweeter…being there for Cristina and allowing her to know that it's not weak at all to show her emotions once in a while. Ah, I look forward to seeing how their relationship's going to evolve; I know its going to be GREAT! BTW, sorry for the double post, but I forgot to fix the formatting. Review:)? Luv you all!**


	9. Satisfy

**Synopsis:**

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break…and I'll look after you." With Izzie, Meredith, Cristina and Alex about to enter their second-year residency and George repeating his internship, it seems like things are finally settling down at Seattle Grace Hospital, right? WRONG! With troublesome interns, flaring tempers, new doctors and explosive confrontations, our favorite characters discover that this is only the calm before the storm. Because someone in the group is hiding a devastating secret from them all…

Author's Note: Greetings from a planet orbiting far, far away from Earth! Hehe, seems like I start off every chapter with an apology, but I truly do feel the need to apologize for my uber-long hiatus. My muse decided to take its own little vacation, along with the fact that the whole Denny-Duquette-As-A-GHOST/TUMOR storyline was just pissing me off to no end (which only inspired me to ditch Grey's for a while)! But now that I've graduated from college, I am BACK as a part-time fanfic writer =). Life is good again. The only piece that's missing is the sadly deceased Dr. George O'Malley, but fear not, he will not even come close to death in my story! I'm keeping Georgie happy and occupied in my version of Grey's … well, for the most part (I will have to throw him through the wringer for a wonderful section of the story, but I'm going to treat him as nicely as I can). So, without further ado, feast your eyes on this long awaited and overdue chapter of _**Look After You**_,"Satisfy". A HUGE, HUGE thanks to all the readers who have put this story on their favs or story alert. I hope I don't disappoint! Katie2323 and hhrjategsrfan (YouTube screename), thanks for the support and personal messages. This chapter's dedicated to you guys!

**

* * *

Previously on Grey's Anatomy:**

**-Dr. Miranda Bailey:** Stevens, you're the closest to the ER nurses' station. Make your way there…DISCREETLY…and tell them to call the cops. Let them know this is a hostage situation, and we need them here _now_.

-**Dr. Alex Karev: **You've always been a smart man…let Mom go, and you'll walk out of here a happy man. Hurt her in any way, and I can tell you right now that you're just going to be pissed off and mad as hell. What's it going to be?

**-Dr. Miranda Bailey:** We're looking at a through and through…bullet entered through his chest and exited out his back, with a possible C5/6 fracture.

**-Dr. Meredith Grey:** How could I have ever forgotten you? You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Derek…

**-Dr. Nick Gladys: **Stop fighting me. Stop fighting _yourself_…you're holding up too much inside, and take it from me, the only way to get rid of that feeling of drowning is to let go! Release all that pain and resentment, and you'll feel a lot better. I promise…

**-Ava: **I told you a long time ago that you gave me a name when I had nothing else in this world; you allowed me to have an identity. No one can replace you, and I know that you love me so much, you wouldn't dare give up.

**-Dr. Derek Shepherd:** Glad to have you back, Karev…

_

* * *

It's been said that __"__when one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." In general, the human population tends to fear change. We could taste a dream, but simply be too afraid of the changes awaiting us. For doctors, graduating from med school allows us to complete a lifelong dream, but with it, we're exposed to challenges that can't be solved by consulting a textbook. Luckily, fate finds a way to intervene and point us back in the right direction. After all, without happiness, life would be like a bird without song. _

* * *

Alex gritted his teeth, sweat pouring down his face in rivulets as he forced himself to continue walking steadily across the parallel bars. When he finally reached the other side, he groaned, arms trembling. Physical therapist Aiden Matheson patted him on the back, shaking her head when she felt the waves of frustration radiating from Alex. "Dr. Karev, PT takes time. Regaining your balance and strength isn't going to happen overnight. But your progress is remarkable for two weeks. Be patient and give it some time. You're getting discharged today, aren't you?" Seeing his affirmative nod, she smiled. "See, you'll be cutting people up before you know it. Until then, I presume you're on desk duty." Laughing at his sour face, Aiden waved over a nurse to help him into his wheelchair, watching his cheeks burning red with shame. Gracing him with a gentle smile and a quick wave, she walked away to another patient.

Meanwhile, Alex wheeled himself out of the room, desperate to get a little tender loving care from Ava and eager to leave physical therapy. Five minutes later, he was outside his hospital room. Slipping his hand into the pocket of his comfortable sweatpants, he felt around obsessively for the small ring box, making sure it was still safely in his possession. Alex wheeled himself into the room, knowing that he only had another twenty minutes before Ava arrived at the hospital. Waiting impatiently, he glowered at his visitor when they showed up at the door, panting and red in the face. "Dude, you're late, Gladys!"

Nick shook his head, amused. "Gee, this is the thanks I get for helping you get ready for the second biggest day of your life? I just got out of an emergency craniotomy. These hands saved the life of a four-year-old girl!" Still laughing, he closed the door and turned serious. "Okay, time for your transformation, Karev." Pulling open the closet door, he reached for the tux that he had carefully hidden earlier that week, away from the observant eyes of Ava. Five minutes later, with a lot of help from Nick, Alex emerged from the bathroom, dressed smartly in a tuxedo and wearing just a whiff of Versace's DREAMER For Men, Ava's favorite cologne.

Whistling, Nick clapped Alex on the back, running his hands through his hair. "Man, you look like a million bucks. No wonder she's so in love with you." Wiping his suddenly perspiring hands, Alex took a deep breath. "Thank you so much, Nick. I couldn't have done it without you." Grinning, the neurosurgeon shook his head. "Just remember that drinks are on you tonight!" Laughing heartily, their light conversation was suddenly interrupted by the chirp of Nick's BlackBerry. Taking one look at the display, he slipped it back onto his waist as he uttered, "Shep's here." Snapping his fingers, he hurried over to the chair and produced the huge bouquet of blooming red roses, shoving them at Alex. "Can't propose without flowers, man." Smiling, he opened the door, giving Alex a thumbs up before slipping out of the room. Two minutes later, the door opened again as Ava walked in, dressed in a knee-length gold dress, her shiny brown hair wrapped in an elegant French twist. She stopped in shock, a look of surprise on her face. "Whoa, what's the special occasion, baby? Not that you don't look hot…" She trailed off as Alex slowly lowered himself onto one knee.

"Ava, you've taught me so much about myself … you helped me realize that just because my parents didn't have a good marriage, it doesn't mean that I can't have my own chance at love." Swallowing nervously, his hands starting to shake again, Alex decided to throw the rest of his speech out the window. "Ava, will you marry me?" Tears filling her eyes, Ava nodded. "Yes! I love you." Sinking into his embrace, they kissed passionately before Alex broke away and gently wiped the remaining tears off her face. Smiling, he fished the ring box out of his pocket, revealing the custom made, unique 1.5 carat Calla cut purple diamond ring. Slipping it onto her slender finger, the ring sat snugly. Stroking the top of Ava's head, Alex was lost in her beauty when the door slammed open again. "CONGRATULATIONS!" He burst out laughing when what looked like the entire surgical staff attempted to pile into the tiny room. After ten minutes and a lot of hugging, the Chief cleared his throat. "All right, enough fun, everybody get back to work before we meet up at Joe's! Karev, Olivia will come by with your discharge papers in a couple of minutes. Yang, you're in the pit with Gladys. Stevens and O'Malley, catch up on your paperwork." He stopped giving orders when his secretary, Patricia, tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a message. His face suddenly sober, the Chief looked up. "Shepherd, Grey, follow me to my office right now." With a clap of his hands, the crowd dispersed, leaving Alex and Ava alone to savor the next step in their relationship.

* * *

Meredith and Derek exchanged nervous glances as they held hands and followed the Chief to his office. What could he possibly want with the both of them? Stopping, Richard turned around, feeling their unspoken apprehension. A slight smile tugging at his lips, he felt compelled to put his head neurosurgeon at rest. "Relax, Derek. I think you're going to be very happy about the news. In fact, there may be more than one reason to celebrate at Joe's tonight." Wheeling around, he led them down the last five feet to his office. Opening the door, he made a beeline for the person sitting imposingly at his desk. Abandoning his usual stoicism, he wrapped his arms around his beloved Adele, showering her with kisses. Laughing, she gently shoved him away. "Richard, we have an audience. Besides, Patricia paged me and told me that you needed to see me in your office. What is it?"

Taking his usual seat, Richard gestured for everyone to sit down. When they did, he cleared His throat. "Well, since you're all wondering why you've been called here. Well, I wanted each one of you to be the first ones to hear this news. Due to the fact that I love Adele with every beat of my heart, I've decided to step down as Chief of Surgery."

Stunned silence met his announcement, and Richard looked around the room, trying to gauge their reactions. Adele was definitely happy, her eyes shining with tears as she rummaged in her purse for a handkerchief. Meredith's mouth was a perfect O, opening and closing like a fish out of water. But Derek was watching him like a hawk, his confusion and shock radiating strongly. "Richard…" Holding up a hand to indicate that he wasn't finished, Richard continued. "I will continue my duties as a general surgeon, but I've recommended you, Derek, to take my place as Chief. The board will officially make the announcement if you accept. Burke and Addison have both left, and Sloan just isn't ready to take on this role. But you … I told you before, you were always my choice. I may have been prejudiced with Meredith before, but I stand by what I offered you when you decided to leave New York. Chief is yours, if you're willing to accept the responsibility."

Derek continued to stare with open-mouthed shock, unable to say a single word. His eyes were wide, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he considered Richard's proposition. Gripping Meredith's hand, they looked at each other, sharing an internal conversation only they understood. Richard watched with a hint of impatience. Just as he was about to say something, Derek spoke up quietly. "Okay; I accept the job. But are you absolutely sure you want this?" When the response to his question was met with a long-suffering sigh, Derek began to smile. He was soon flashing his million-watt smile, his eyes suspiciously bright. The moment was soon broken by the annoyingly persistent beep of their pagers. Giving Adele a hurried kiss and a quick "see you later," Richard rushed out of the office with Derek and Meredith, ready to save one more patient as Seattle Grace Hospital's Chief of Surgery.

* * *

"What've you got?!" Izzie shouted at the nearest paramedic as she twisted her hair up and out of her face. "Auto accident. This is the 29-year-old female driver, complaining of chest and stomach pain, flank tenderness, dizziness, and shortness of breath. BP's 120/80, pulse 90." The ER Chief Resident tapped her on the shoulder. "Dr. Stevens, Trauma 1." Nodding, she ran with the gurney towards the room. On the way, she couldn't help but glance at George, whose jaw was clenched, his face showing nothing but intense concentration. His eyes were already doing a preliminary scan of the patient. Forcing her mind back in the moment, they reached Trauma 1. "Okay, on my count … one, two, three." Snapping on her gloves, she immediately started ordering tests. "CBC, Chem Panel, type and cross, and a BAC. I want x-ray in here right now! Olivia, call CT. As soon as she's stable, let's send her up. We need to get a good look right now. Dr. O'Malley, what's her pulse ox?" He glanced at the monitor before looking down again. "96% SpO2, Dr. Stevens." Nodding, Izzie touched the frightened patient's arm. "Ma'm, what's your name?" The door to Trauma 1 burst open, and everybody looked up as a bloody and clearly shaken man walked in. "Her name's Alexandra Hill; she's my girlfriend! Please, you've got to help her."

Nodding, Izzie motioned to one of her interns. "Sir, we're taking very good care of her. We'll come get you as soon as we know something. Nathan, would you please take this man to get stitched up? Thank you." Watching as her intern led the man out, she turned her attention back to the patient. "Alexandra, I know you're terrified right now. But I need you to try and relax, you're in good hands, okay? I need you to answer some questions." Squeezing her hand, Izzie wrote down the information onto the chart as she watched the x-ray tech come in out of the corner of her eyes. "Thanks, Mike." When the tech finished shooting his films, she called out to him just as he was about to leave the room. "I need those films ASAP." As the tech nodded and left, Callie walked in. "Okay, get me up to speed, Izzie."

She took a deep breath. "29-year-old Alexandra Hill, auto accident, complaining of chest and stomach pain, flank tenderness, and shortness of breath. SpO2 within normal limits, BP remaining steady at 120/80, we're still waiting for the films, and she's stable for CT." Nodding, Callie signed off on the chart. "Okay, go ahead." Seconds after she walked out of the room, Mike rushed back into the room with the films. "Dr. O'Malley, you've got to look at this." Holding the films up to the light, Izzie saw his eyes widen in alarm. Clearing his throat, he calmly told Olivia to bring the patient to CT, and that he and Izzie would meet them there in a short while. When the room cleared out, he walked up and slapped the films on the light board, pointing. "There, possible pneumothroax on the right. She might have slammed her chest on the dashboard. That would explain the chest pain." Izzie frowned. "She might still have intra-abdominal bleeding." Removing the films, she smiled at George. "Great work." With a nod in her direction, they both hurried out the room and went up to CT.

Glancing at the blank CT screen for what felt like the millionth time, Izzie paced around impatiently, waiting for the results. The lab tech threw her an annoyed glance, but she barely noticed. George sighed. "Izz, SIT DOWN. Your relentless pacing isn't helping the patient; it's just driving _us_ nuts." Just as he finished, the lab tech announced, "They're up!" Rushing over, Izzie studied the scans. "Oh, damn. Ruptured kidney. George, page Bailey. We need to redline her to OR now!"

* * *

Bailey, George, and Izzie walked out of the OR, worn out and tired after the long surgery. It was now nearly 9 P.M., and they had been in surgery for close to six hours. Walking up to their patient's distraught boyfriend, Bailey laid a hand on his shoulder. "Mr. Joshua Walker? I'm Dr. Bailey. I operated on Alexandra." Seeing his mouth open, she hurriedly reassured him. "Since you're her medical proxy, I can tell you that we managed to repair a majority of your girlfriend's injuries. However, her kidney has suffered extensive damage, and it's irreparable. Now, normally, we would just remove that kidney, and let the other one compensate for its loss. But it appears that one of her kidneys was removed when she was younger, due to a severe car accident." Seeing his visual confirmation, Bailey continued to explain. "We've put her at the top of the donor transplant list, and being on dialysis will help her until she can receive a transplant. You can visit her now; she's in recovery. I'll tell the nurse, and we'll notify you if her status changes."

After the man nodded his understanding, the three doctors started to leave the room. "Wait! Let me do it!" the man cried. Izzie whirled around. "Excuse me?" The poor man raked his hand through his hair. "I can donate a kidney to my girlfriend. I – I heard that a kidney donor doesn't have to be genetically similar to their recipient, so I could donate a kidney to Alexandra, right?" Bailey swallowed. "Mr. Walker, the procedure is not that simple. You would have to take blood tests, consent to a psychological examination; you have to be subjected to a whole host of other tests before we can even begin to consider you as a possible donor. This could take a while."

He shook his head. "I don't care. I can't let her die. If you guys won't do the surgery, I'll find another surgeon that will do it. I have to help Alex. I love her." Exchanging glances with Izzie, Bailey sighed. Shaking her head, she motioned to George. "Dr. O'Malley can take a blood sample right now so we can send it to the lab for testing, and we can refer you to the psych department for their portion of tests, but we can't promise anything. We would advise you to wait for a donor, but if you insist..." The man shook her hand emphatically. "Thank you, Dr. Bailey!" Nodding wearily, Bailey and Izzie left the room, leaving George to collect the blood sample. It was almost time to meet the group for a celebratory drink at Joe's, and Bailey couldn't wait to have a drink to soothe her frayed nerves, along with sinking her teeth into one of Joe's tasty cheeseburgers.

* * *

Two hours later, practically everyone on the surgical staff was gathered in Joe's bar, toasting the engagement of Alex and Ava. The cold and sudden torrents of rain had done nothing to dampen the spirits of the rambunctious staff. After toasting the happy couple, Richard clapped his hands, automatically commanding everyone's attention. "All right, two more pieces of good news. The first announcement is that I will step down as Chief by the end of tomorrow, but I'm continuing my career as a general surgeon. Dr. Derek Shepherd will be succeeding me, and I am confident that he will continue to take the hospital in a new direction. To Derek!" After the toast, Derek noticed the quiet that had suddenly settled over their group. Holding Meredith's hand tighter, he raised his voice. "JOE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME!" Amid the cheers and stampede to the bar, Derek gave the Chief a sad smile. Patting each other on the back, they watched their coworkers socializing comfortably. Some were holding hands, others were milling around with drinks, and still others were finally tucking into their dinners at 11 P.M. "All in a day's work, Shep." Derek smiled in response as he continued to sip his double scotch, single malt.

* * *

George was just about to push open the door leading into The Emerald City Bar when it swung open, forcing him to dance back a few steps. He froze in his tracks when he realized it was Callie and Mark, comfortably holding hands, the former dressed in a low-cut teal top that accentuated her figure. Shifting uncomfortably, she mumbled, "Um, hey." All of a sudden, George found himself missing the playful banter and ease that had defined their early relationship.

_I know this isn't what I wanted,  
I never thought it'd come this far,  
Just thinking back to where we started,  
And how we lost all that we are._

_We were young and times were easy.  
But I can see it's not the same.  
I'm standing here but you don't see me,  
I'd give it all for that to change._

_  
But I don't want to lose her,  
Don't wanna let her go._

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "Callie, I'm sorry." He was met with complete silence, and he hung his head shamefully. A finger gently tilted his head forward, and he looked up, relieved to see that Sloan had retreated a respectable distance away. Callie sighed, "George, I loved being an O'Malley. Even if it was just for a short while. But you know what, ever since our divorce, I've had time to think. You know, _really_ think. I mean, I was really pissed for a while. But I've come to realize that we weren't meant to be together. Every time I loved you, you couldn't return that love back to me. Whenever you loved me, I was too busy getting mad at you for something you had done. Love has to be constant, has to survive the ups and downs before you can truly call it a relationship. I mean, look at me; I was your rebound girl. I should have known better. For Christ sakes, you proposed while you were still reeling from the loss of your Dad! And I … I accepted, even though I _knew_ you needed more time to grieve. If you think about it, I've never held the place closest to your heart. That spot's always been taken by Izzie."

_Standin' out in the rain,  
Need to know if it's over,  
'Cuz I will leave you alone._

_I'm flooded with all this pain,  
Knowing I'll never hold her._

_Like I did,  
Before the storm._

_Yeah,_

_Before the storm._

Looking away, Callie repeated firmly, "Izzie is the one you belong with." Noticing his look of shock, she clarified, "I'm not condoning your affair. And while I can remain on professional terms with her, Izzie Stevens will _never_ be my close friend. But if anything good came out of this divorce, it would be that it made me realize I've slowly fallen in love with Mark Sloan. He gets me; Izzie gets you. George, we may not be a couple anymore, but I still care about you, and I don't want you to look back at this twenty years from now, wondering why you didn't take this leap of faith. With all this crap happening at the hospital, you should know by now. Life is too damn short. We never know if tomorrow will come, so why not spend each day happy?"

_With every strike of lightning,  
Comes a memory that lasts.  
And not a word is left unspoken,  
As the thunder starts to crash._

_Maybe I,  
Should give up._

Noticing his torn look of indecision, Callie smiled sadly before leaning forward and kissing him softly on the cheek as Mark walked up. "You never listened to me when we were married. Do me the honor of trusting my instincts on this. You'll be happier. I know I am." With one last glance at him, she slipped her hand into Mark's waiting one. Lost in thought, George barely heard the, "see you tomorrow!" that she tossed at him before they walked away.

_Standin' out in the rain,  
Need to know if it's over,  
'Cuz I will leave you alone._

_I'm flooded with all this pain,  
Knowing I'll never hold her._

_Like I did,  
Before the storm._

_Trying to keep the lights from going out,  
And the clouds are ripping out my broken heart.  
They always say,  
That a heart is not a home,  
Without the one who gets you through the storm._

_Standin' out in the rain,  
Knowin' that it's really over.  
Please don't leave me alone._

_I'm flooded with all this pain,  
Knowing I'll never hold ya,  
Like I did,  
Before the storm.  
_

_Like I did,  
Before the storm._

-Jonas Brothers/Miley Cyrus, Before The Storm

_

* * *

Three days later_…

George stood next to Izzie, scrubbing out of Alexandra Hall's successful kidney transplant surgery. In almost all aspects, the surgery had been a complete success. Joshua Walker had gotten the green light to donate a kidney to his girlfriend, filling out the mountain of required paperwork without any complaint. However, shortly after they had taken the kidney out and handed it safely over to the transplant team next door, he had crashed. Izzie and Bailey had worked feverishly for 30 minutes, trying desperately to revive their patient, while George, as an intern, could do nothing but continue CPR. Furious and questioning the unfairness of life, he scrubbed harder than necessary, letting out all frustration. "George." Snapping out of his thoughts, he whirled around to glare at Izzie. "WHAT?!" When he saw her flinch, he felt guilty. "Sorry. It's just not fair! Kidney transplants are almost always safe. Donors only face a very small chance of something going wrong. Why did he die? Why did Joshua Walker die when so many other people walk away from this surgery with hardly a scratch?" Breathing hard, he kicked the scrub sink. "Why, GODDAMNIT?!" Aware that he was hyperventilating but unable to stop it, just as he had been powerless to save his patient, George ripped off his scrub cap and stormed out of the room. Izzie shook her head, the first few drops of tears making their way down her face. She heard a sigh and turned to see Bailey, shaking her head. "Stevens, just let him it get it out of his system. Wash up and go home early. Finish the patient's chart tomorrow. After a day like this, I usually go and hug my little Tuck to remind me that miracles still exist in this world." They both finished scrubbing out, and before long, the OR was empty, save for the lone nurse that was stitching up the cooling body of Joshua Walker.

* * *

George sat inside the recovery room, aimlessly scribbling out notations in the patient chart for Izzie, alert eyes occasionally studying Alexandra Hall for the slightest indication of consciousness. It had been five hours since his outburst in the scrub room, but he still felt a twinge in his heart at the thought of his patient's tragic demise. He swallowed, trying valiantly to hold back the tears that were forming. Closing his eyes, he thought back to earlier that day, when Joshua had entrusted him with a very important message for his beloved girlfriend.

_George was walking down the hall, writing in a patient chart and hurriedly finishing up his sandwich, when a hand suddenly clapped him on the shoulder. Caught off guard, he yelped before realizing that it was his patient, Joshua Walker. "Oh, hi, Mr. Walker. Are you ready for the surgery this afternoon?" The young man shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Dr. O'Malley. I've been feeling a sense of foreboding and death all day. I know, I know … I've heard countless stories of organ donors who walk out of the hospital a few weeks after their surgery, as good as new. But I also know that there are people who don't make it through the procedure. And let me tell you, my sixth sense has always been too uncanny for me to ignore. It warned me away from getting into the car with my parents the day that they died, and it screamed at me to take Alexandra to the hospital when she got bitten by a bee. I didn't even know that she was allergic to bee stings; I just felt it in my gut. Right now, that sixth sense is telling me that I'm going to buy the farm today. I'm not ready to say goodbye to Alexandra, but it's not up to me." _

_George stared at him, trying to shake off the odd chill that ran down his spine at Joshua's words. "Look, Mr. Walker, I'm sure you will be fine. It's a relatively simple procedure, and you will be up and running with Ms. Hall before you know it."_

_His patient sighed patiently. "Even so, I was wondering if you could do something for me. The day of the car accident, I was actually going to propose to Alex. I had this great speech all planned out, we were going to her favorite restaurant, everything was perfect. But __**this**__ happened, and just in case I don't make it, could you give her this ring for me? I want her to look at it and feel my presence whenever she misses me, you know? Tell her that I loved her, and that if I could have, I would have spent the rest of my life with her." Taking out a wrapped package, he shoved it into George's shocked hands. "Keep this safe for me. __**IF**__ I don't survive, I want you to give this to her."_

_George was speechless, and he felt like someone had suddenly yanked out his vocal cords. Opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, he swallowed a few times before finding his voice again. "Tell you what, Mr. Walker. I'll keep it safe for you during the surgery. But you__have to tell Ms. Hall that you love her yourself. She needs to hear it from you. And you can't go into surgery thinking that you're not going to make it out. Because if you think that, then that is going to be the outcome. If you love your girlfriend that much, I advise you to fight. Got it?" Joshua Walker closed his eyes and nodded. "Oh, by the way, call me Josh. Mr. Walker makes me feel old." George pointed to the engraved name on his lab coat. "And call me George." Smiling, he walked the patient back to his room to prepare for surgery._

George's eyes flew open when he heard the heart monitor beep faster, indicating that his patient was starting to wake up. Holding her hand, he let her squeeze it tightly. With a gasp, Alexandra Hall opened her eyes, revealing striking baby blues. She had been lying in a hospital bed for four days, but her chestnut brown hair still managed to gleam in the meager light of the hospital room. George could very easily see why Josh had been so captivated by her beauty. Shaking his head at the injustice of it all, he snapped out of his thoughts when she whispered, "Where's … Josh?" Hesitating because of the weakness evident in her voice, he tried to encourage her to rest, but she was persistent. George sighed before recounting Joshua's parting words to her. Leaning down for the package that had been sitting beside him, he cleared his throat before reading the letter that was lying on the very top.

**_My dearest Alexandra,_**

**_The road of life has never been an easy one for me to travel. Losing my parents when I was only five forced me to grow up in the system, a place that, despite best efforts, lacked the love that I had taken for granted before the accident. For two years, I remember that my days were filled with nothing but violent beatings and feelings of isolation. _**

**_And then I met YOU. You appeared out of nowhere, like a star descending from heaven to save me from my own loneliness. Before you came into my life, nobody could understand the guilt I felt over the death of my parents. But your gentle personality, along with our shared tragic experience, helped me realize that I'm not alone in this world. We have survived the adversity of life together, and together, we have managed to help each other grow, with a love so strong that most people can only imagine it._**

**_If you're reading this letter, then it means that I've gone up to the heavens above. Our love gave me hope that maybe life could bless us with a storybook ending of our own. Although that will never be, do not fear the road of life, Alex. Every time you need me, just look for the bright star that is now named after you. In the vast expanse of midnight sky, there will always be a single star with enough light to guide and protect you through life's tribulations. Know that I tried my hardest to fight for our future. If I had been given the chance to, I would have loved to slip this sign of my eternal love on your finger myself. _**

**_Arrivederci, mi armor. I'm always with you._**

**_Till we meet again,_**

**_Josh_**

When he finished, Alexandra's eyes were shining with tears, but she managed to keep herself composed. In a shaking voice, she quietly asked George for Joshua's parting expression of love. The moment that he helped her slip on the unique star-cut diamond engagement ring, the distraught woman finally lost it, curling in on herself as she sobbed violently. Putting the ring box on the bedside table, George climbed into the bed and hugged her tightly to him, comforting her in the only way he knew how. Only after Alexandra had cried herself to sleep did he gently disentangle himself, quietly walking out the room. Seeing Olivia standing over by the nurses' station, he ran up to her and told her to page him when Alexandra Hall woke up. Then he was gone, running out of the hospital and driving towards 613 Harper Lane. Josh and Alexandra had shown him a tragic love story, but if anything, it made him realize that he couldn't simply wait for happiness to come. He had to have the will to initiate it.

* * *

Izzie breathed deeply, allowing the combined scents of aloe, apple, and French vanilla to soothe the stress out of her body. She _hated_ losing patients, and most of all, she hated the fact that George had retreated from her life without a word. He was her best friend, and she felt an empty hole in the spot that he had occupied in her heart. God, she missed him! Groaning, she forced herself to concentrate on the flickering candlelight, trying to relax. Just as her eyes were growing heavy, there was a knock at her door. Instantly alert, she climbed out of bed and swung the door open, having half a mind to yell if it was only Meredith and Derek.

Any other negative thoughts flew out of her mind when she saw George standing there, dressed in a black and white striped polo and blue jeans. He stared quietly at her, his emotive chocolate brown orbs showing Izzie a torrent of emotions. With a sudden explosive breath, he kissed her passionately as tears trickled down from his eyes and ended up rolling down her cheeks. Pulling them apart, George cupped her face in his hands. "I can't spend another moment without you. After Callie and I got divorced, I wanted to get together with you, but I was terrified that I was going to make another impulsive mistake and lose my best friend. But I've come to realize that it's okay to be scared … as long as you're there with me." Speechless, Izzie only nodded as she ran her hands through his silky hair, inhaling the familiar scent of lavender. "Oh, George…" she moaned. "I've missed you so much," he whispered, and they fell backwards onto her bed, sharing in another emotion-charged kiss. Under the watchful glow of the full moon, Izzie and George spent all night celebrating the beginning of their new relationship, cherishing the fact that they were in each other's arms again.

_If there was a way to try and make it back,  
Back to where we started from.  
Could I find a way to try and make you stay?  
Would I know what could be done?_

_I don't want to deny my heart its chance to feel.  
I don't want to deny my soul of something real._

_Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy me?  
Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy you tonight?_

_We were sailing on,  
I could see the world below,__Never thought of coming down.  
Expectations fell,  
It seemed as though our will was no match for the trouble found._

_I don't want to deny my heart its chance to feel.  
I don't want to deny my soul of something real._

_Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy me?  
Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy you tonight?_

_So take my hand, and I won't look back,_

_Though I've lived tossed along these waves,  
I will stay._

_Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy me?_

_Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy me?  
Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy you?_

_Is there anything left in this world that will satisfy you tonight?_

-Vedera, Satisfy

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Ending Note: I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. Nine months ago, the idea about a patient inspiring George to get back together with Izzie popped into my head, but writing that part of the chapter just didn't seem to flow. It was only when I was doing final editing that it came to me … the story of a couple who had grown up together in foster care, and shared a love so strong that it can transcend death.

On a happier note, I am in the planning stages of the next chapter, and the action finally starts to pick up! Loved it, hated it? Please press that beautiful purple button and let me know!

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